I tried I really did, please tell Mae, the barn... when it burned down and all they found was a jar of Mae's world famous applesauce sitting on a stump, I burned down the barn. It was the others, All trying to get me into their reindeer games. I was trying to hide and contemplate. I found a half eaten jar of Mae's applesauce, a lighter and a spoon. I really wanted to get into that jar of applesauce. It's the kind with the chunks.
Now you say where does Mrs. Clause get apples from all the way up in the North Pole? Well from all you prick parents who don't leave Santa his penance of cookies. Oh you'll owe him twice the amount if you want to keep little Johnny or little Susie off the naughty list.
So I tried to get into the jar, some how I just tried to channel my inner Mcgiever, Well all in all I burnt down the barn. Hooves weren't meant for spoons or lighters because I tried to light the lid and it hit the ground. It was a Zippo lighter so It stayed lit till the ground and light the floor on fire... the elves had taken all the fire extinguishers to be checked for compliance, go figure. Santa has been getting ideas from all these dumb Tim Allen movies. Rockets and steroids for reindeer do not go together!!! Vixen... Let's just say she's more like Jacko now burnt tail and all. Our plastic Surgeon couldn't help her. He didn't take Santa's HMO...
Moral of the story: reindeers are horrible story tellers!
#MerryChristmas
"Even when I'm sick and depressed, I love life." ~Arthur Rubinstein Great quote. Why? Because it touches my very essence. I may not seem to love life at points but I'll never take my own life or intentionally take another life. Well there was this one time when there was fog on my back road near my house, I hit a raccoon. In his defense he might have had rabies. It can't be confirmed or denied... I didn't file a police report at the time. Okay well this speaks to me about mental illness which in our darkest hour of being sick and depressed, those who suffer from chronic depression, sometimes dream of death. Well this speaks volumes, love life. We all don't get to come back from the dead, we stare death in the face many times but once you're gone you are gone. Love life, love your life... Sometimes I feel like my life is the pits, as if I have reached the lowest low, feeling as if no one loves me, when in reality 1000's of peop...