I tried I really did, please tell Mae, the barn... when it burned down and all they found was a jar of Mae's world famous applesauce sitting on a stump, I burned down the barn. It was the others, All trying to get me into their reindeer games. I was trying to hide and contemplate. I found a half eaten jar of Mae's applesauce, a lighter and a spoon. I really wanted to get into that jar of applesauce. It's the kind with the chunks.
Now you say where does Mrs. Clause get apples from all the way up in the North Pole? Well from all you prick parents who don't leave Santa his penance of cookies. Oh you'll owe him twice the amount if you want to keep little Johnny or little Susie off the naughty list.
So I tried to get into the jar, some how I just tried to channel my inner Mcgiever, Well all in all I burnt down the barn. Hooves weren't meant for spoons or lighters because I tried to light the lid and it hit the ground. It was a Zippo lighter so It stayed lit till the ground and light the floor on fire... the elves had taken all the fire extinguishers to be checked for compliance, go figure. Santa has been getting ideas from all these dumb Tim Allen movies. Rockets and steroids for reindeer do not go together!!! Vixen... Let's just say she's more like Jacko now burnt tail and all. Our plastic Surgeon couldn't help her. He didn't take Santa's HMO...
Moral of the story: reindeers are horrible story tellers!
#MerryChristmas
Hi, my name is Joshua Harke and I’m from Syracuse, NY. I’ve lived in Charlotte since I was 13 years old. In the summer of 1994, we moved to Charlotte, NC. It was a huge culture shock and life change for a new teenager. I went to a few different schools here; I went to Randolph Middle School for 7 th grade and I was bullied there so my parents moved me the next school year to Bible Baptist Christian Academy in Matthews. I liked it there and played soccer in middle school. I also attended church there with my family. I transferred schools after my junior year to United Faith Christian Academy. I loved it there and grew into a great high school athlete. I played in the praise band and played soccer, baseball was even the mascot, and outside of school, I played ice hockey on a local team and for the Junior, Checkers travel team. I made Who’s Who Among Highschool Americans my senior year. I also couldn’t decide what I wanted to be as an adult and that’s fine. I had an internship in a ...