Skip to main content

Aunt Mae - December 10th 2015

I tried I really did, please tell Mae, the barn... when it burned down and all they found was a jar of Mae's world famous applesauce sitting on a stump, I burned down the barn. It was the others, All trying to get me into their reindeer games. I was trying to hide and contemplate. I found a half eaten jar of Mae's applesauce, a lighter and a spoon. I really wanted to get into that jar of applesauce. It's the kind with the chunks.
Now you say where does Mrs. Clause get apples from all the way up in the North Pole? Well from all you prick parents who don't leave Santa his penance of cookies. Oh you'll owe him twice the amount if you want to keep little Johnny or little Susie off the naughty list.
So I tried to get into the jar, some how I just tried to channel my inner Mcgiever, Well all in all I burnt down the barn. Hooves weren't meant for spoons or lighters because I tried to light the lid and it hit the ground. It was a Zippo lighter so It stayed lit till the ground and light the floor on fire... the elves had taken all the fire extinguishers to be checked for compliance, go figure. Santa has been getting ideas from all these dumb Tim Allen movies. Rockets and steroids for reindeer do not go together!!! Vixen... Let's just say she's more like Jacko now burnt tail and all. Our plastic Surgeon couldn't help her. He didn't take Santa's HMO...
Moral of the story: reindeers are horrible story tellers!
#MerryChristmas

Popular posts from this blog

Spirit filled vs religious vs spiritual

What is the difference between being religious, spiritual and spirit filled? Webster's dictionary says that being religious  is "relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity". Webster's dictionary says that being spiritual is "of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit or  concerned with religious values". According to the Collins English dictionary being spirit filled or the charismatic movement is this, " Christianity  any of various groups, within existing denominations, that emphasize communal prayer and the charismatic gifts of speaking in tongues, healing, etc". Here's my take on this, Jay Z said on  Watch the Throne, "You ain't gotta go to church to get to know yo' God" raps on the song Threat that he's killing people but it's a valid statement. I loved church, I guess but when life experiences change us as an young adult as in my bipolar manifestin...

Forgiveness for a lifetime and beyond!

"Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day." - George Foreman I've seen what love at first sight is and love at first click. I'm going to say that I will never pick love at first sight. Love is a hard thing to grasp and a hard place to be. It takes work and time to nurture. I've had infatuation and lust relationships too. I've been used for emotional and a rebound needs. I have a big heart and I forgive easily. I was chasing this amazing woman who didn't know how to love again nor did she want to. We clicked that night and into the morning having deep conversations. I knew I wanted to be with her regardless of her situation which probably wasn't the best idea ever but there were a few times she would push me a way till she let me inside her walls. It takes a big heart to forgive a lot of pain. I wasn't ready to give up hope on her. Now we are at crossroads an...

Things I Think About!

Things I think about: Turtles, they hide in their shells when frightened. Is it true? I'll have to look it up on the internet. If it's on the internet does it make it true, only if it's from a credible source? What makes that source credible? Hmmm... ... I wish I had chosen history as my degree instead of marketing then I could have pretended to teach those who in reality would be teaching me but should I give credit to Roger for that? If I were to get scared while teaching I could just put my head in my desk and have a web cam in my desk so the kids could see me and continue to teach... lol! If I were a bubble boy turned into a man in bubble would I have to have disability accommodations for stupidity? If I were a bubble man I would have a van with the front seats taken out and a curved ramp that would pull out so I could park and roll out of the van when I get to my destination. If I were a teacher in a bubble... -April 26th, 2016 I love school... wait f...