My life in Quotes

  Stronger Than You Hating this pain, Wishing it would all go away, Nothing seems to stay even you will go away... Nothing lasts forever and neither will this... sigh...   Oh and congratulations on failure, This is how I'm stronger than you... Never have backed down from the lies and torture and anguish This will distinguish who is stronger, me or you.

 I walked through a doorway every day where there was evil and adorned through the house were skulls, the air was thick with evil and it was heavy with pain. That is the feeling I felt for almost a year of living with my former friend Nicole. She carried a heavy burden that I've never told and won't tell for it's not my business to tell her pain. We stopped being friends during the time that I lived with her. She made it very clear that when I lost my job paying rent was the most important thing to her and not how I felt. She constantly told me it's just business and I felt like a tenant that was torn between a shitty friend and a shitty landlord. She was so condescending towards me from day one where she was worried about all of her stuff that might get damaged from me moving in. I had to pay for the cover for the guest bed that was to be put in the garage because I wanted to sleep on my own bed. She was so concerned that I would ruin the garbage disposal that she flew...

 I would like to think that I'm Spiritual, not religious but I read the religious text called the Bible. I also believe in love and I know that there are definitions of what love is versus what I've been showing to my last girlfriend.  1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; She read the greatest love and understood it to be about my love of first sight relationship or in retrospect the girlfriend it's about. The greatest love isn't about said girl but about the feelings around it and they can't be recreated because we are all different people. I understand that that relationship has ended, I hold on to the hope that there can be a love-at-first-sight relationship again. It doesn't have to actually happen but I want to look at the woman I love every day with that feeling. Because in that relationship the feeling went away, and I...

When I was very young, after I came back to the Harkes, I would hit and pinch my Mom. I can imagine it being rough on her having a little boy that doesn't understand his pain and how to even express it properly. Dad said that she prayed ceaselessly for me to have peace inside. I have had a whole life of internal strife and sleepless nights of emotional pain. Mom was there for me through a lot of it.  It's weird having Mom gone. It's when they moved to Florida that our relationship flourished. I always found it odd and annoying at times when Mom left 3 min voicemails but I miss that now. I wish I had a recording of her voice telling me that she loves me. I have, I believe every card that Mom had sent to me from 2013 until she couldn't send out cards anymore. I have birthday cards, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, just because she was thinking about me, and handwritten letters. She really loved me and wanted me to know that I wasn't alone in this world. She rea...

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ―  Laurell K. Hamilton,  Mistral's Kiss I'm writing this because if I don't get to tell my story, the story is over! I feel suicidal, fear,  anger, humiliation, and I don't know who I am. I am not this guy, I'm not a coward and I won't back down in the face of hard times.  You do know time just doesn't start in one place for humanity. This starts in 2017 when I won my disability court case and I was told don't talk about the earnings. I'm a certifiable dumb ass kinda. I didn't directly say how much I won but I said I had won the case to some "friends". The person capitalized on it and wrecked my world. Will justice be served? I don't know, I didn't press charges because he was supposed to be my friend. I wrote a bit about the guy that stole my money in good faith to pay me back. I helped him way more than I could help m...