My life in Quotes

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” - unknown People give me shit about staying at Rooftop 210 or in BMG for as long as I did. I'm a very hopeful individual, I would like to believe that people will look out for you when you're the hardest worker in the industry. I could not succeed in a company that wouldn't allow me to be anything greater than a barback. From the 19th of March til today I have lived the struggle of transitioning into a normal life. I've had sleep anxiety for months during the time I was at Rooftop til even now, I wake up screaming and sweating. It's quite detrimental to one's psychological state of mind, the amount of emotional abuse I took and I felt less love from those I sought acceptance from. I was passed up for bartender and had another barback placed in a leadership role who talked down to me. Never again... Now onto where my heart is, it's in pain. I shouldn't have been in an affair but...

"I want three things in life; Love, Liberty and Death. Love 'cause I have this belief that she is out there for me, Liberty because no matter if we hate this government I am still free and Death 'cause my legacy will one day be great and I wont need this world." When I was 22 years old, I would joke about retiring at 25 years of age while working as a key holder in an ice cream store. I also believed in love but didn't know what it really was and I often said I wanted to die before I was old and wrinkly. I've also have O.D. once and that was my wake up call sometime around '09 to '11, it's hazy the time line. I've pretty much blocked it out just that it happened is all that matters and that it wont ever again. So I've fallen in love with this amazing woman who is so much like me yet so different but in good ways. I don't ever want the connection we share with anyone ever again, it seriously scares me sometimes. For example she ...

Mom says that I used to love Valentine's day, we used to make a big deal about it with candy, stuffed animals and special dinners. I guess growing up sucks... I'm sure that's why I'm a romantic but the day feels dead to me even though it should be a symbolic day about reflecting on people who care about you and whom you care about. I don't really want a Valentine but I'll still share the love to all my friends. I give thanks for my family, friends and the love of my life. Valentine's Day is one of the biggest commercial events. With that being said we should strive to live beyond the life of the holiday. We should show love to those in our lives continuously with the need to receive gifts or steak the day after. We should be sending love notes, cards and writing sweet little nothings most of the time. If you're not mushy, that's fine, send a card with something thoughtful you're thinking at the moment. Not everything has to be mushy either, kin...

"I don't like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them." Carroll Bryant February 5th - 4 months have gone by in a blink of an eye where I have done so much harm and learned so much about myself and this amazing, beautiful and tortured soul that I love. I'm not saying I'm sticking by anyone to just stick by them. I feel I have one of the biggest hearts of this generation and I love and hurt easily but this is a different situation. While she suffers I am not able to be her Joshua Rock while she's in emotional pain and stress and I feel many things but not everything overrides my own anxiety. I've been apart of keeping hope live for myself with many friendships and this is the first Love that I've struggled with. She's my ideal Love, no matter the fight my head and heart have I want to keep hope alive and stand by her. I've only given up on one friend, I loved as much as a brother. He betrayed me and used me to t...

"Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day." - George Foreman I've seen what love at first sight is and love at first click. I'm going to say that I will never pick love at first sight. Love is a hard thing to grasp and a hard place to be. It takes work and time to nurture. I've had infatuation and lust relationships too. I've been used for emotional and a rebound needs. I have a big heart and I forgive easily. I was chasing this amazing woman who didn't know how to love again nor did she want to. We clicked that night and into the morning having deep conversations. I knew I wanted to be with her regardless of her situation which probably wasn't the best idea ever but there were a few times she would push me a way till she let me inside her walls. It takes a big heart to forgive a lot of pain. I wasn't ready to give up hope on her. Now we are at crossroads an...