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Showing posts with the label fear

The Year That Was 2019

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ―  Laurell K. Hamilton,  Mistral's Kiss I'm writing this because if I don't get to tell my story, the story is over! I feel suicidal, fear,  anger, humiliation, and I don't know who I am. I am not this guy, I'm not a coward and I won't back down in the face of hard times.  You do know time just doesn't start in one place for humanity. This starts in 2017 when I won my disability court case and I was told don't talk about the earnings. I'm a certifiable dumb ass kinda. I didn't directly say how much I won but I said I had won the case to some "friends". The person capitalized on it and wrecked my world. Will justice be served? I don't know, I didn't press charges because he was supposed to be my friend. I wrote a bit about the guy that stole my money in good faith to pay me back. I helped him way more than I could help m...

It's All In Your Mind

It's all in your head and are you sure it's not all in your head or aren't you overthinking things? Man, if I could just not have it in my head but and on my Google Nexus tablet around my neck continually for everyone to see my brain  and the patterns  and levels of anguish I go through, it would be awesome. “One of the things that baffles me (and there are quite a few) is how there can be so much lingering stigma with regards to mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. In my opinion, living with manic depression takes a tremendous amount of balls. Not unlike a tour of Afghanistan (though the bombs and bullets, in this case, come from the inside). At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you're living with this illness and functioning at all, it's something to be proud of, not ashamed of. They should issue medals along with the steady stream of medication.” ―  Carrie Fisher,  Wishful...