My life in Quotes

  Friends,      It's been a while since we've spoken. The semester is at a close, with 2 weeks left and I've put in almost 2 years into my attempt to break what I thought would be a curse. I struggle with money, social cues, dating, being shy, (believe it or not), and asking for help. I'm proud of myself for maintaining friendships and creating new ones. I'm proud of my courage to sing karaoke without liquid courage. I'm proud of my grades. I am proud of myself in that I have made some friends in my program which has made school easier. This semester I ran for student government and I have an upcoming interview for The Student Advisory Board for the disability department at UNCC. I've come a long way in that I have constant anxiety that three strikes and I'm out. That's the negative side of my brain. In reality, it should be, Third times the charm.      Having friends on campus and wanting to do big things in the campus community has helped me even...

  I'm constantly reminded every morning that I have a disease. I take a few little pills that make life relatively easier. Today isn't one of those days. I'm super frustrated, sad, and have a crazy headache. It's not that I enjoy talking about the reality of what goes on in my brain, this is new the talking about it, within the past couple of years. It's like tons of information got held back and for a while, I just talked and talked. I've gone through a lot and I'm really proud of myself for working hard and getting back into school last spring. I'm proud of how hard I work at simple life tasks that people take for granted. I'm proud of how hard I work just at a job and what I hope is seen by employers as my integrity. I'm really proud of being able to coach kids in flag football and how much I really enjoy it. Life is much better than it was even 2 years ago to a year ago. I keep moving forward and marching towards a brighter future. A lot of ...

This is just a bunch of thoughts. They are interconnected on the basis that Facebook has a thing called timeline and it made me think at 2:30 am in the friggin morning. It helped me be grateful for where I've been and where I'm going. I've been in Charlotte since 1995, wow! I love this city and I've had a wild time here. I've made a ton of friends and if you ask this shy kid in 2003, would have ever touched so many lives and met so many amazing people, I'd have shit myself. Hahaha! I've worked for companies, left and been asked to rejoin them. I've had three recommendations to the police academy before I started CPCC. I've graduated high school from United Faith and I struggled with college and I overcame obstacles to get two Associates degrees and I'm working on getting a bachelor's degree again because it just didn't happen. I've had my heartbroken and had it pieced back together, a handful of times. I've played for the Jun...

"Hi, Deborah, I'm Joshua Harke and I'm your biological son. It's taken me a while to get to today. I have quite a lot of questions and I completely understand if you don't want to share but I would love to know.  I don't know the whole story as to why I was given up for adoption but I was raised by the Harke's with love and I feel blessed to call them my family. I would like to get the chance to know you and I will try to understand that if you should choose to not wish to speak to me I will respect that. But whichever way you chose you should know somethings: I wanted to tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a published author and blogger. I love art and reading for fun. I went to a few schools in NC and I live here now. I love kids yet I have none. I have been told I'm special and that there's this light inside of me. I want to make a change in this world but sometimes I struggle. I'm planning on finishing my second Associ...

I'm going to attempt to explain anxiety: pretend you like flowers, you like roses and daisies. They both are beautiful and you plant them in your garden. You have a dog and you love him very much. You spent 10 hours planting the flowers. You let your dog out to potty and then he sniffs the flowers. Pees on a shepherd's hook and comes inside. All you could think about was the damn flowers getting peed on as he sniffed them. Then you sigh in relief as he pees on the shepherd's hook. Fast forward to lying in bed. An hour of sleep passes and you wake up in a cold sweat from dreaming your dog, that you love, dug up the flowers. Somewhere between sniffing, worrying about the flowers getting peed on and the ultimate worst thing that could happen to expensive flowers. You wake up thinking about your damn flowers and run downstairs to see if they're okay. Nothing happened to the flowers but sometimes one thought about how something could happen spirals out of control. It's n...