I'm constantly reminded every morning that I have a disease. I take a few little pills that make life relatively easier. Today isn't one of those days. I'm super frustrated, sad, and have a crazy headache. It's not that I enjoy talking about the reality of what goes on in my brain, this is new the talking about it, within the past couple of years. It's like tons of information got held back and for a while, I just talked and talked. I've gone through a lot and I'm really proud of myself for working hard and getting back into school last spring. I'm proud of how hard I work at simple life tasks that people take for granted. I'm proud of how hard I work just at a job and what I hope is seen by employers as my integrity. I'm really proud of being able to coach kids in flag football and how much I really enjoy it. Life is much better than it was even 2 years ago to a year ago. I keep moving forward and marching towards a brighter future.
A lot of people are going through Covid anxiety and will hopefully come out on the other side remembering what it's like to feel debilitated for a short time.
I have memory loss and disassociation that makes me not remember details of awesome events or conversations that probably were really important. I cope by using my phone's tasks, notes, calendar, a whiteboard on my wall, and a planner that I carry around with me. I set alarms on alarms to not be somewhere I'm not supposed to be at. I've been at a job where I wasn't even supposed to be there until 2 hours later and I ended up having a meltdown this is when I worked 3 jobs and rode the bus and light rail everywhere. I just hope everyone understands that we gotta do better for mental health. It's hard to wake up and do normal people things and heaven forbid I miss a medication for a day or two then I could end up with rashes or really bad blurry vision. People won't know if someone doesn't tell them and a lot of people are afraid to tell people because their families treat them really badly; many don't have friends. I'm really blessed to have some close friends and an amazing family that make it easier. I thought I'd share something different today. Thanks for taking the time to read.