“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”
― Mistral's Kiss
I'm writing this because if I don't get to tell my story, the story is over! I feel suicidal, fear, anger, humiliation, and I don't know who I am. I am not this guy, I'm not a coward and I won't back down in the face of hard times.
You do know time just doesn't start in one place for humanity. This starts in 2017 when I won my disability court case and I was told don't talk about the earnings. I'm a certifiable dumb ass kinda. I didn't directly say how much I won but I said I had won the case to some "friends". The person capitalized on it and wrecked my world. Will justice be served? I don't know, I didn't press charges because he was supposed to be my friend. I wrote a bit about the guy that stole my money in good faith to pay me back. I helped him way more than I could help myself. He stole more than just money, he stole my opportunity for freedom. He stole my independence and he knew what he was doing. It caused a rift in my relationship with my roommate that was already there. Like if there were fissures now there were gaping holes where the Hulk ripped the street up and shook it to move a tank.
There's pain here and it's deep. You know how when people help you and it can be any kind of help but they also help themselves by taking from your life? That is this guy. He added my girlfriend on Facebook as well as asking her for rides and pain meds for a tooth so she gave him doggy pain meds while I was in Florida visiting my family. Then he talked shit to her about me. I don't know why my heart saw he needed redemption. I am not able to save myself. I was working three jobs once because of the damage he caused and he would only work his security job and occasionally wrestle. The guy stole from people and used anyone and everyone he could. He's stolen from friends and put eviction notices on their records. I even helped to keep that from happening to one of them.
I was promised $2k from a wrestling deal that went south and I went to his apartment every day for two weeks to check his mail for a check that never came, while he was out of town. I mean I wasted time not just sanity. I somehow loved this guy because he could calm me down when I was angry at my roommate. That is wrong of me because the dude used all of it against me later.
He was found guilty of a DUI and endangering two passengers on a scooter. He was reckless and should have gone to jail. I didn't know the whole story or else I might have not helped. I only knew that he was supposedly going home from drinking after work on his scooter. I gave $4,100 to him for court costs and helping him with his apartment. He was a good son and was supposedly trying to keep a roof over his mom and his head. I felt for him so I helped him. I should have been helping myself and my roommate.
I had goals for the money I earned from my disability case. I feel horrible because he stole from the work that my lawyer had done for many years. I struggle with many things and I work really hard in life despite having bipolar 1 disorder. Some days I don't feel like going to work and I've gone to work during panic attacks that were so horrifying that I should have been in bed in the fetal position. I shouldn't have had to work three jobs at one time.
I had goals that I was going to put the money toward legal costs for The Jasper Tree. That was stripped away. I have to get a lawyer to now pro-bono my 501c3 and do I feel like that is right? No way, because I had the money for it. I was going to pay my credit card down to zero but I had to let it close because I even used that to help him get a car or two to get to wrestling matches. The guy leached me for everything.
In 2019, I started asking for my money back and he would get defensive and come up with schemes to get it back or deals that would go south. He gave me things he got for free to get me off his back. He somehow talked me into finally helping him get an apartment for him and his mom after an eviction. I was struggling and doing really weird things because it was negatively affecting me and my moral compass. Like I knew this shit was wrong.
I later found in my car and in my room that should have made me ditch the guy but he had me in some grip. He was always playing my heart but trying to get me to be more like him. I want to help people who are ever in this situation, it's a dangerous situation to be in. He was a violent guy, a bounty hunter, wrestler, and martial artist. He could hurt people and he had has had a restraining order placed against him by an ex in Pennsylvania. He used money from whomever he stole it from or even his own to buy an engagement ring instead of paying me back, this isn't slandering there is proof.
My current roommate at that time was this neurotic chick with her own problems. There was this incident where our house got broken into while I was at Pier 1 working and the alarm wasn't tripped. It was Jose because he knew the code from looking over my should once. Nothing was moved or stolen. In April that year, my friend, Sarah came into town for the unMasquerade Ball and he wasn't supposed to know about it. I had been planning on cutting ties with him and she didn't care for him. I had broken the lease on my end at the apartment complex and he wouldn't respond to me texting him for a while telling him, about my anxiety till I figured out how to do it. Then all hell was unleashed the weekend, Sarah came into town. He had people blow up, my roommate's phone with lies, and gave her all kinds of anxiety. Like it was insane and cruel. He said that I took pictures of her sleeping and he knew what was in her dresser drawers. Completely sick, he knew how to get in her head. He caused a huge rift between her and me, I loved my ex-roommate and our problems were our problems but now they were everyone's business. He told the world everything I told him that was true and made up. He had character assassinated me on Facebook to the world.
I don't care what happens to Jose, I have nothing he can take from me. We left our relationship as "stay away from my mother and me". I have absolved his debt and friendship. It's hard to be compassionate and get taken advantage of. It's not right. I even have to take anxiety medication because I can't sleep and even on this medicine I feel suicidal still. I feel like a burden to my Dad and family who have tried to help me emotionally and financially. I feel like a burden to my past roommates and current. I work hard, really friggin hard to walk away with nothing, and live paycheck to paycheck. I just wanted to do good things like start my 501c3 and have minimal debt. My Dad thinks that I'm irresponsible because he doesn't know the damage, Jose did to me.
God is my Rock and I've had to lean hard on Him sometimes. This is a hard concept to learn when you feel you have been unjustly wronged. I needed to write this. It's for my own sanity. I'm not looking for anyone to hunt this guy down. What's done is done. I am just tired, my mind needs a break, I wake up crying near every morning because I want to die. I don't seek human justice, I just need peace, he stole more than just money, he ruined lives just to better himself and he was not ashamed as he's said in the past on Facebook.
I don't want to take anxiety medicine anymore, I've fought it so hard for so long. Nearing the anniversary of such a painful occasion, I have to crawl into God's hand and ask for peace.
― Mistral's Kiss
I'm writing this because if I don't get to tell my story, the story is over! I feel suicidal, fear, anger, humiliation, and I don't know who I am. I am not this guy, I'm not a coward and I won't back down in the face of hard times.
You do know time just doesn't start in one place for humanity. This starts in 2017 when I won my disability court case and I was told don't talk about the earnings. I'm a certifiable dumb ass kinda. I didn't directly say how much I won but I said I had won the case to some "friends". The person capitalized on it and wrecked my world. Will justice be served? I don't know, I didn't press charges because he was supposed to be my friend. I wrote a bit about the guy that stole my money in good faith to pay me back. I helped him way more than I could help myself. He stole more than just money, he stole my opportunity for freedom. He stole my independence and he knew what he was doing. It caused a rift in my relationship with my roommate that was already there. Like if there were fissures now there were gaping holes where the Hulk ripped the street up and shook it to move a tank.
There's pain here and it's deep. You know how when people help you and it can be any kind of help but they also help themselves by taking from your life? That is this guy. He added my girlfriend on Facebook as well as asking her for rides and pain meds for a tooth so she gave him doggy pain meds while I was in Florida visiting my family. Then he talked shit to her about me. I don't know why my heart saw he needed redemption. I am not able to save myself. I was working three jobs once because of the damage he caused and he would only work his security job and occasionally wrestle. The guy stole from people and used anyone and everyone he could. He's stolen from friends and put eviction notices on their records. I even helped to keep that from happening to one of them.
I was promised $2k from a wrestling deal that went south and I went to his apartment every day for two weeks to check his mail for a check that never came, while he was out of town. I mean I wasted time not just sanity. I somehow loved this guy because he could calm me down when I was angry at my roommate. That is wrong of me because the dude used all of it against me later.
He was found guilty of a DUI and endangering two passengers on a scooter. He was reckless and should have gone to jail. I didn't know the whole story or else I might have not helped. I only knew that he was supposedly going home from drinking after work on his scooter. I gave $4,100 to him for court costs and helping him with his apartment. He was a good son and was supposedly trying to keep a roof over his mom and his head. I felt for him so I helped him. I should have been helping myself and my roommate.
I had goals for the money I earned from my disability case. I feel horrible because he stole from the work that my lawyer had done for many years. I struggle with many things and I work really hard in life despite having bipolar 1 disorder. Some days I don't feel like going to work and I've gone to work during panic attacks that were so horrifying that I should have been in bed in the fetal position. I shouldn't have had to work three jobs at one time.
I had goals that I was going to put the money toward legal costs for The Jasper Tree. That was stripped away. I have to get a lawyer to now pro-bono my 501c3 and do I feel like that is right? No way, because I had the money for it. I was going to pay my credit card down to zero but I had to let it close because I even used that to help him get a car or two to get to wrestling matches. The guy leached me for everything.
In 2019, I started asking for my money back and he would get defensive and come up with schemes to get it back or deals that would go south. He gave me things he got for free to get me off his back. He somehow talked me into finally helping him get an apartment for him and his mom after an eviction. I was struggling and doing really weird things because it was negatively affecting me and my moral compass. Like I knew this shit was wrong.
I later found in my car and in my room that should have made me ditch the guy but he had me in some grip. He was always playing my heart but trying to get me to be more like him. I want to help people who are ever in this situation, it's a dangerous situation to be in. He was a violent guy, a bounty hunter, wrestler, and martial artist. He could hurt people and he had has had a restraining order placed against him by an ex in Pennsylvania. He used money from whomever he stole it from or even his own to buy an engagement ring instead of paying me back, this isn't slandering there is proof.
My current roommate at that time was this neurotic chick with her own problems. There was this incident where our house got broken into while I was at Pier 1 working and the alarm wasn't tripped. It was Jose because he knew the code from looking over my should once. Nothing was moved or stolen. In April that year, my friend, Sarah came into town for the unMasquerade Ball and he wasn't supposed to know about it. I had been planning on cutting ties with him and she didn't care for him. I had broken the lease on my end at the apartment complex and he wouldn't respond to me texting him for a while telling him, about my anxiety till I figured out how to do it. Then all hell was unleashed the weekend, Sarah came into town. He had people blow up, my roommate's phone with lies, and gave her all kinds of anxiety. Like it was insane and cruel. He said that I took pictures of her sleeping and he knew what was in her dresser drawers. Completely sick, he knew how to get in her head. He caused a huge rift between her and me, I loved my ex-roommate and our problems were our problems but now they were everyone's business. He told the world everything I told him that was true and made up. He had character assassinated me on Facebook to the world.
I don't care what happens to Jose, I have nothing he can take from me. We left our relationship as "stay away from my mother and me". I have absolved his debt and friendship. It's hard to be compassionate and get taken advantage of. It's not right. I even have to take anxiety medication because I can't sleep and even on this medicine I feel suicidal still. I feel like a burden to my Dad and family who have tried to help me emotionally and financially. I feel like a burden to my past roommates and current. I work hard, really friggin hard to walk away with nothing, and live paycheck to paycheck. I just wanted to do good things like start my 501c3 and have minimal debt. My Dad thinks that I'm irresponsible because he doesn't know the damage, Jose did to me.
God is my Rock and I've had to lean hard on Him sometimes. This is a hard concept to learn when you feel you have been unjustly wronged. I needed to write this. It's for my own sanity. I'm not looking for anyone to hunt this guy down. What's done is done. I am just tired, my mind needs a break, I wake up crying near every morning because I want to die. I don't seek human justice, I just need peace, he stole more than just money, he ruined lives just to better himself and he was not ashamed as he's said in the past on Facebook.
I don't want to take anxiety medicine anymore, I've fought it so hard for so long. Nearing the anniversary of such a painful occasion, I have to crawl into God's hand and ask for peace.