Skip to main content

A Christmas story, Dec 10, 2015.

I tried I really did, please tell Mae, the barn... when it burned down and all they found was a jar of Mae's world famous applesauce sitting on a stump, I burned down the barn. It was the others, All trying to get me into their reindeer games. I was trying to hide and contemplate. I found a half eaten jar of Mae's applesauce, a lighter and a spoon. I really wanted to get into that jar of applesauce. It's the kind with the chunks.
Now you say where does Mrs. Clause get apples from all the way up in the North Pole? Well from all you prick parents who don't leave Santa his penance of cookies. Oh you'll owe him twice the amount if you want to keep little Johnny or little Susie off the naughty list.
So I tried to get into the jar, some how I just tried to channel my inner Mcgiever, Well all in all I burnt down the barn. Hooves weren't meant for spoons or lighters because I tried to light the lid and it hit the ground. It was a Zippo lighter so It stayed lit till the ground and light the floor on fire... the elves had taken all the fire extinguishers to be checked for compliance, go figure. Santa has been getting ideas from all these dumb Tim Allen movies. Rockets and steroids for reindeer do not go together!!! Vixen... Let's just say she's more like Jacko now burnt tail and all. Our plastic Surgeon couldn't help her. He didn't take Santa's HMO...
Moral of the story: reindeers are horrible story tellers!
#MerryChristmas

Popular posts from this blog

Advice to a Dear Friend

Joshua: "How's work?" Erin: "Can't complain. Running my team today. I get nervous. Learning curve" Joshua: "Oh... Hun, you got this!" “Inevitably we find ourselves tackling too many things at the same time, spreading our focus so thin that nothing gets the attention it deserves. This is commonly referred to as "being busy." Being busy, however, is not the same thing as being productive.” ― Ryder Carroll, The Bullet Journal Method: Track the Past, Order the Present, Design the Future   Joshua: "I'm looking up quotes about multitasking but everyone seems to have issues with it. So my advice is to just focus on the task at hand and move on to the next." "If they need something and you need something as far as learning, just ask questions." Erin: On her iPhone, loves the quote. In my head slacker... hahaha! Just kidding. Erin: "I love your advice. Now that's legit boss guidance, thanks." ...
Read more

A Heart Bright Like the Sun

When I came to this crossroad, I met this lovely young lady. She had no face and I could only see her soul. I knelt down beside her and said how is your soul is so radiant? She said when you center yourself, you enter the state of allowing yourself to see all that is good and evil. She was the one meant for me and her soul was as bright as the sun. I took the road to the left and never saw her again. The next day I came back and there was no light at the crossroad but a black heart. What is the moral of the story? This is how I feel. No one is for certain who you will meet at each crossroad of our lives. Don't lose a chance to make something out of each crossroad. Then I picked up that heart put it in the pocket on my sleeve and wore it there for all the world to see. I walked across a tiny wooden bridge where I met a man with no soul just a mangled face. We spoke about the people on this road. We talked till sunset. He said I can give you what you nee...
Read more

A Generation Afraid to Fail

Not too long ago I had a conversation with my friend, Professor Robinson of CPCC, in light of the UNCC shooting on their campus. We talked about how students today are afraid to fail and can't handle negative grades or comments. I even get defensive about too harsh criticism but I've failed many times, before. I don't like being told things I already know like I'm in some grand delusion.  Tangent concluded. We spoke on a student that came to him and said, I can't fail, well he was given an option to withdraw from the class and take a W. I've taken a W, it sets you back but keeps your GPA intact. I guess he was in such a hurry to get out he forgot to not party and study. Students are so sensitive now that we have to coddle their personalities because growing up they all got participation trophies from the gaming boards and parents accepted it as okay. "Game theory is a theory of social interaction, which attempts to explain the interaction people ha...
Read more