I tried I really did, please tell Mae, the barn... when it burned down and all they found was a jar of Mae's world famous applesauce sitting on a stump, I burned down the barn. It was the others, All trying to get me into their reindeer games. I was trying to hide and contemplate. I found a half eaten jar of Mae's applesauce, a lighter and a spoon. I really wanted to get into that jar of applesauce. It's the kind with the chunks.
Now you say where does Mrs. Clause get apples from all the way up in the North Pole? Well from all you prick parents who don't leave Santa his penance of cookies. Oh you'll owe him twice the amount if you want to keep little Johnny or little Susie off the naughty list.
So I tried to get into the jar, some how I just tried to channel my inner Mcgiever, Well all in all I burnt down the barn. Hooves weren't meant for spoons or lighters because I tried to light the lid and it hit the ground. It was a Zippo lighter so It stayed lit till the ground and light the floor on fire... the elves had taken all the fire extinguishers to be checked for compliance, go figure. Santa has been getting ideas from all these dumb Tim Allen movies. Rockets and steroids for reindeer do not go together!!! Vixen... Let's just say she's more like Jacko now burnt tail and all. Our plastic Surgeon couldn't help her. He didn't take Santa's HMO...
Moral of the story: reindeers are horrible story tellers!
#MerryChristmas
Manners P’s and Q’s. We hear about do’s and don’ts. Where’s my five dollars a man screams out the bus window. The kid sending his father off to the mines, Says look in your box. Don’t look past the future. We should name our children after gods, prophets and philosophers. Not cars, cereal or carnal pleasures. Flip flop for a second. Hold my hand. Grow old with me she says softly. Leave me alone she screams. It’s over we know. Ride free, flip the handle bars of life and pop a superman. We know some of us struggle. Who said you get a fighting chance. Think about it You could have been somewhere else. Today is the best time to be born. Mind your manners. You could have been snuffed out. Hold your hand out and shout. Don’t be too proud to give away those five dollars. You might need it down the road. This was just a fun poem about how life is fast and jumbled sometimes. As it being a mess, we s...