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Showing posts from July, 2017

Dangling

Dangling Fifty thousand feet in the air. Ripped right out of my seat. The way it all happened was a flash. Something changed. You snapped and took control. Steered us into that sheer cliff. I don’t know what it was about today. Everything was normal. Breakfast was normal. The ride was normal. The take-off was normal. Engine check. And anxiety reared a few into the trip. I knew it was over. She flipped, I flipped. An engine blew. She saved us possibly in my anxiety. So we were plummeting. Sheer speeds. Falling and falling. She grabbed the controls. Steered us in to that cliff. I survived that day but you did not. Now my heart dangles like I did that day. This poem is about my worst fears translated into something that doesn't bother me. I don't fear flying. I fear drivers on the road, people I ride with and their vehicles. I had an anxiety attack while I was driving in Matthews a long time ago. It was h

White Halls

White Halls As I walked down the corridor I pulled out my crayon. Walked about fifteen feet. Then I turned left. Backed up and turned right. Why did I turn right. The hall here was white, bright white. I started writing in words I had never seen before. I wrote in dead languages. White walls were no longer white. Mathematic algorithms. Things long gone and forgotten. Architecture from eons across the galaxy. Was I walking towards the light before I died. They always say your life flashes before your eyes. This was not my life. This was the life of billions of like-minded ideas planted. Gone in a flash, time stood still. This was not reality just a dream I thought. Is my creation gone. Would there be a birth of new ideas from loss of billions snuffed out.                                                                       Time is gone and will not tell.                                                                 

What was it?

What was it? Was my life your life. Where were we in time. Nothing changed but you. I am who I am and you knew that. What was the worst thing I did. I think the worst thing I did was falling. Falling down an endless hole never wanting to climb out. Or was it learning to love again. Or was it being a job for you. What was it for you? Was it more than an excuse. You gave me many. What was it for you? I had love at first sight once. It was a lot of work to maintain, suffice to say and when one person isn't feeling it anymore, it's hard to let go. So I got into poetry and it was a great pain reliever. I could be creative and have fun or just cry a river of words.

Manners

Manners P’s and Q’s. We hear about do’s and don’ts. Where’s my five dollars a man screams out the bus window. The kid sending his father off to the mines,   Says look in your box. Don’t look past the future. We should name our children after gods, prophets and philosophers. Not cars, cereal or carnal pleasures. Flip flop for a second. Hold my hand. Grow old with me she says softly. Leave me alone she screams. It’s over we know. Ride free, flip the handle bars of life and pop a superman. We know some of us struggle.   Who said you get a fighting chance. Think about it   You could have been somewhere else. Today is the best time to be born. Mind your manners. You could have been snuffed out. Hold your hand out and shout. Don’t be too proud to give away those five dollars. You might need it down the road. This was just a fun poem about how life is fast and jumbled sometimes. As it being a mess, we shouldn't h

Lost Boys

Lost Boys So am I lost. When I walk around aimlessly,   To you I appear lost. I’m not you. I would never have that desire. Being chained to a wall like a yellow canary. Chirping when there is a lack of air. You suffocate me. I’ve only been lost once. When that canary died I became lost. I almost didn’t make it out. You slowly choked the life force out of me. Till swam out of your grasp. It was like breathing air for the first time. I wander because I can, Not because I’m lost. See me for who I am. Trust me it could be worse. I know who I am. Do you know who I am. I’m an entity unto all my own. I'm not sure if this is about anyone in specific but I have a feeling it's about my ex bestfriend. If it is this correlates to when I was dumped and she said I'm afraid you'll amount to nothing because you hung around him. I am my own entity and I march to my own beat through life. It also could correlate to how

I'm the Oldest Damn It!

What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude. -Brené Brown I was told that my siblings don't want a relationship with me because I at some point said in a way that I'm the oldest and I deserve respect. When you are in your twenties you're dumb as bricks when it comes to common sense. Obviously being who I am and my DNA, I would be heated a little. I've grown up a lot since I was in my 20's. I moved to back to Syracuse to form a relationship with my biological family. It obviously didn't work because I'm the black sheep and it's okay even if it hurts my biological dad. I don't know if they all the abuse and who he was before he was their father. Now he's a 180% different man and they are lucky. I didn't get that opportunity that they were privileged with. God's power has the ability to change even the most wicked men. I'm thankful for God's grace because many instances I'd be dead. He poured out his grace and mer

Letter of Pain to CATS

To CATS, I'd like to tell you a few things. I get up very early like many other people to ride this transit system. Today, not being the first day, on route 27 I was passed. I'm sure the bus was full but I wasn't even acknowledged and I was looking right at the bus. Luckily I was waiting for a while because the buses are so inconsistent.  Also the bus the goes outbound for the 27 has been moved to detour. For a few times last month I was passed and had to walk home. I was even passed at night time and had to walk home at 11 pm. As it were, I didn't have time on a Sunday to wait 45 minutes to an hour. Luckily that is my short trip from the Metropolitan to Briar creek, I can't imagine how much more frustrated people who live at the end feel. Oh and I even took the 15 once to get off near Laurel and but through Elizabeth but ended up getting lost because the 27 bus passed me. I was so irate that day.  I feel my route is the most inconsistent route, I get out there e