What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.
-Brené Brown
I was told that my siblings don't want a relationship with me because I at some point said in a way that I'm the oldest and I deserve respect. When you are in your twenties you're dumb as bricks when it comes to common sense.
Obviously being who I am and my DNA, I would be heated a little. I've grown up a lot since I was in my 20's. I moved to back to Syracuse to form a relationship with my biological family. It obviously didn't work because I'm the black sheep and it's okay even if it hurts my biological dad. I don't know if they all the abuse and who he was before he was their father.
Now he's a 180% different man and they are lucky. I didn't get that opportunity that they were privileged with.
God's power has the ability to change even the most wicked men. I'm thankful for God's grace because many instances I'd be dead. He poured out his grace and mercy and changed him. It's like the story of how Saul became the apostle Paul, he became a hole different man.
I might have implied I deserved respect at some point but I can only recall one incident where the youngest boy was called out on being disrespectful to the parents. He didn't like it and snapped back.
The sad thing is I wrote him off, he didn't want to change for so long. Now I'm not perfect but at this point in my life I can see most of my big disaster areas and short falls.
Do I feel entitled still that's a hard question to ask myself. I feel like I don't deserve respect from anyone but I've earned enough of it I don't need it from anyone. I know who I am and my value in a family and in life.
I'm thankful to God for my dad's change but still get butt hurt at times. I've forgiven but the scars run deep... so am I entitled to their respect, the answer is no. Am I okay with this? Yes, because they weren't even a thought yet.
That quote and concept are tough to process a bit for anyone.
I feel I'll get it one day.