This is my preface for this article: "They won't notice you unless you jump out of a moving train."
So I've been dating since I was about 18. It's been an uphill awkward battle all the way. I wanted to date in high school and earlier but that didn't happen. I take it that I was socially awkward and not a popular kid. I played ice hockey, soccer and baseball ,and sometimes I was an all star and sometimes I was just a hot head. I digress, okay so my first girlfriend was in college, her name is Magda. She's got a kid now, not mine. She was a senior in high school and I was introduced to her through some friends. So I've had good dates and bad dates that both turned into nothing. I've had long distance relationships for reasons I'm not sure why but lessons were learned.
Things I learned from dating, oh wow this should be fun. Magda said to me, "don't be so jealous, it's good to have guys check me out then realize that I'm with you". I carry this thing into relationships to this day. It's okay as long as she's only looking at me and the same when we're together. She was pretty wise for 17. I had my first heart break with her and first time told that breaking up is part of the game... I was like what the fuck! Then I, hot head, punched a wall in my dorm and hung up the phone. How lame was that my first time being dumped. I then had a booty call friend in college or before Magda and she bounced back into my life after Magda. Oh gosh... she was a smelly one. I never understood how a girl could be smelly and it makes me laugh all the time. Hygiene is important... lesson learned from a freshman girl, hehehe! There were a few friends that taught me somethings about sex and how to be funny yet dance kinda sexy at the same time. Yeah, it's attractive when a guy can dance, I learned that.
I dated this amazing girl named Amy who lived in Elizabeth City. It was long distance but it went well for a long time, till she cheated. I caught her in the lies somehow. I'm really quite smart and read people well, except for getting hit on or subtle hints to being liked then, way over my head.
Well we had so much in common. She inspired my creativity so much and she would send me letters and art. She's really cool. I keep in touch with her. She's grown up a lot since we dated but been through a lot of pain as well. We still connect and it's cool to still be apart of each other's lives.
Well we had so much in common. She inspired my creativity so much and she would send me letters and art. She's really cool. I keep in touch with her. She's grown up a lot since we dated but been through a lot of pain as well. We still connect and it's cool to still be apart of each other's lives.
I had a few one night stands, some were bad, okay all were bad. I'm not cut out to do that. I've had some really bad dates... I had a date where I showed up buzzed, totally my fault that it didn't go well. I was super handsy, haha!! I had a date later on in life that was awesome, I showed her around and I kissed her and didn't invite her in, I guess she took it as I wasn't interested, then I didn't get a second date, ugh... dumb games.
There was a time were I hadn't dated or had intimacy for 6 years, 6 years can you believe that. maybe it was like no girlfriends and just no intimacy. I wanted to date this girl named Shannon but that didn't work out because we saw each other all the time. I think then I was like I just want space from the girl I like but want only her. I just don't want to be smothered.
I dated this girl named Hannah, she was cool. I don't remember but I think it was plenty of fish that I met her on. Three dates we went on before she was like I don't think this is gonna work. I think her family was secretly racist. Lol!
The Taylor chapter, We met at a boxing party in 2011, I say it was love at first sight. I had all kinds of fuzzy feelings. So I locked eyes with her in the den and said hello and introduced myself and as I was about to leave I said to my friends, I have to do something or I'll regret it. So I raced back inside and exchanged numbers with her. When you know you just know. I told her when we finally talked about it and said, I love you to each other, that she felt it too then. Love at first sight exists but it's hard to maintain, it really is. It's work because just like any relationship. We went on an amazing first date at the board walk up in the university area and she came back to my place to watch Dave Chappelle. What I took away from those 6 months was that no matter what I did or didn't do I couldn't measure up to her father. He was a former CEO and was a financial trader, very successful. I was this guy that still lived with his parents and had a best friend crashing with us. She even liked sleeping over a lot, it was nice. I was dumped and was very distraught because I had lost my best friend who bailed on me in the middle of the night and my girlfriend who wanted to peel me off like a band aid. Ouch. I don't recall the relationship like that but okay. She dumped me because of him, he was a loser to the 10th degree. I also lost her because she wanted me to move out and get a full time job right away before school was over. Sometime that was unreasonable for me at the time. Her friends poisoned her mind and she never let me meet them but I introduced her to my friend Karlee because she needed to meet a lot of my friends, oh I was super proud of her. My mom fell in love with her and wanted me to marry her as well.
I dated a chic named Bonnie, gosh she was fun and a train wreck but the sex was great. Crazy = amazing sometimes. Then was Tiffany, I think... so one train wreck to an addict DJ. She was so out there and my friends tried to warn me or just think I was gonna be good for her. It was so awful and I don't apologize for trying to have the relationship but I should have never gotten in it with her.
Now my last lady friend. Her name is Andrea if you have read the other articles... she's my soul mate. I think about her still but she was in a divorce but called it off for the sake of her child. I learned that nothing and I mean nothing even love is bigger than the love and safety of your own child. I'm okay with this. She went back to her husband for Ryan to have a good upbringing. I think she could fight and get the divorce still and win split custody but her husband is such a conniving, passive aggressive bastard that he's figure out how to screw her over. I think I shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with her. It was probably supposed to be a one night stand but we clicked and talked for hours and then it went further.
Now I'm here 1/19/18, I've tried Tinder, Bumble and POF, this is were I stand the decks are so stacked against me that I feel like I am an idiot sometimes and I have to have the most exciting pictures or have the cutest dog to win the online dating game. I like meeting women all kinds of ways, the natural way or this new tech way, which still gives me anxiety having to be the creative type to come up with the first thing to say to her if we match.
Now we come full circle and it's a great game, sometimes we lose and sometimes we win. It doesn't matter as long as you do the right thing in the end. My parents are how I want to be, well kind of. They love each other and share roles. They've raised some great kids, including myself. I just want to find my forever love and have a kid or two. It would be awesome but right now I just want a gf that will eat crunchy peanut butter sandwiches with and Reece cups, oh and tell me I'm pretty.