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My Heroine's Journey Home

My Mother was my biggest inspiration for having a big heart. It is because of her, I love endlessly and forgive so easily. I was asked and have been asked how can you forgive certain people multiple times. Well, it's taught by Jesus in the Bible and well, my Mother was a great example of showing mercy and forgiveness. 

I have learned so much from being an adopted child of the Harke's. My Mom, I've taken so much from my Mom, Myra, then my Dad. He tried to teach me fiscal responsibility and my mom knew it was important but my heart always wins. My mom's heart was amazing, as well as my father's. They brought in so many foster children and had two of their own.  Andy Flemming said, my mom, treated every kid that came into her home as her own. No, if and's or buts she loved kids. She must have felt that I was special enough to pour thousands of dollars of savings into adopting me. It took ten years of their life to secure the safety of one child. 

The fruits of my mother's love overflowed, I can't imagine what Jesus had in store for such a loving and powerful yet humble prayer warrior. I learned to pray from my mom. If it wasn't for my mom I wouldn't be saved and if it wasn't for my mom teaching me to pray every day for my bio-dad, Mike, the Williams family most likely wouldn't exist. Prayer is so vital to the human spirit and the outcome of many fallen lives. I believe in prayer, My prayers were few and far between but I still prayed for my Mom. My last prayers were for God's will to be done, to bring comfort and peace to her.

Then on the 28th, I find out that her oxygen level had dropped significantly and that they had hit her with albuterol treatments and steroids to bring her around. I cried myself into a panic attack and cried to sleep, only to wake up crying and gasping for air. I immediately called my manager at Belk and Elizabeth was very understanding. Then I called my Dad and asked if he knew anything. I cried and fell back asleep and then I awoke and sensed her gone. I called Dad and asked how mom was and he proceeded to say she had passed that morning. Eleven months in the hospital system is rough on the body as well as one's spirit. She was a fighter until the end but she submitted to God's will and went home to be with her parents and Jasper.

It is perfectly fine to weep. Jesus wept and he is love and an example of what love is supposed to be.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”– Washington Irving

I cried hard, gasping for every ounce of air I could take in as I cried for my mother. Am I happy with how my mother's end happened? Not really, no family was by her side in the end. She gave up her spirit to the Lord, alone. It is very not ideal for someone who had dad by her side in the hospital every day, faithfully. Dad is who I want to be in a marriage. I hope I get to love my future wife like Dad loves Mom.

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