The evolution of humanity is not the evolution of the species of man but the inside of man that is important in 2019. We will examine the definition of humanity no. 2: humaneness; benevolence.
I wanted to write about humanity no. 2 from the dictionary because I have experienced an outpouring of love since Feb 2018 when my Mom went into the hospital, she passed away and the love people share with me after.
"One should never direct people towards happiness because happiness too is an idol of the market-place. One should direct them towards mutual affection. A beast gnawing at its prey can be happy too, but only human beings can feel affection for each other, and this is the highest achievement they can aspire to." ~ ALEKSANDR SOLZHENITSYN
Am I happy? I would like to say that I am unsure as of 12:30 am. Do I love myself? I would like to think I do. I look back at Facebook memories and see the outpouring of love from my community that has taken me in and put me in the fold, as to say.
When Mom became ill, I knew that this was going to be a fight. Not just for her but the entire family, God was letting us be tested. God doesn't test us as Job was told in the Bible but it is Satan's doing to test us. Though Job was afflicted so many times in the Bible that he lost everything but he never blamed God. He stayed true to God and God blessed him in the end.
I lost a huge part of my life to being abused and having to place 90 - 95% of childhood memories in Pandora's box. Mom and Dad saved my physical life by adopting me at 10 years old. I grew up with the greatest humanitarian I've ever met, my mom. She and dad had a huge heart for kids, they had taken in many foster kids to live with their two kids already.
I grew up being loved on from the Harke's which intern cultivated my humanity. Humanity to me is showing love, mercy, benevolence, and kindness, etc. I don't go around doing good things and keeping tabs on whom I've helped or what they can do for me. Try to repay the good deeds with other good deeds and all will be right. So what is my humanity and where has it evolved? People outpoured their love for me like I had never seen when Mom passed away. Like people genuinely reached out and I didn't know how to react at first. I thanked everyone, each of them personally on their condolence.
I suck at grieving so I turned to Facebook for asking my friends to pray for myself and my family. I believe that prayer helps. I went to church one Sunday and tried to get the pastor's attention and failed after the service. Well, I made it to a church service after where the music pastor, Chris, preached and at the end, he prayed for me. I didn't feel instantly like woa my life is gonna change. I felt like woa I'm gonna be okay and so will my heart. There's a hole in my heart where my attachment to my mom is. She wasn't much like my mom from before she was sick. She was a fighter holding on to her shell.
I've evolved beyond my bipolar manifestation and struggles of coming to terms that I'll never be normal and the woman that marries me will have to come to terms with that too. I pray that she will have God's love and mercy in her heart too.
It takes a lot to forgive the man that beat you to near death and gave you a mental illness and it's not because of anything I've done but through grace and Christ's example through my parents that I forgave him.
I've been asked and I've touched on it before. How can you forgive such and such a person or still talk to them? Well, I've been abused as an adult in a friendship as well as called a nigger by an ex-roommate and his cousin. So am I trying to be smarter than who I associate with? Yes but there's so much collateral damage.
I would like to say that my heart keeps beating and pumping for continued growth, whichever that may be. I never want my light to grow dim. I want to help children all over and have fun doing it.
And that there is the evolution of my humanity.
- One Love
I wanted to write about humanity no. 2 from the dictionary because I have experienced an outpouring of love since Feb 2018 when my Mom went into the hospital, she passed away and the love people share with me after.
"One should never direct people towards happiness because happiness too is an idol of the market-place. One should direct them towards mutual affection. A beast gnawing at its prey can be happy too, but only human beings can feel affection for each other, and this is the highest achievement they can aspire to." ~ ALEKSANDR SOLZHENITSYN
Am I happy? I would like to say that I am unsure as of 12:30 am. Do I love myself? I would like to think I do. I look back at Facebook memories and see the outpouring of love from my community that has taken me in and put me in the fold, as to say.
When Mom became ill, I knew that this was going to be a fight. Not just for her but the entire family, God was letting us be tested. God doesn't test us as Job was told in the Bible but it is Satan's doing to test us. Though Job was afflicted so many times in the Bible that he lost everything but he never blamed God. He stayed true to God and God blessed him in the end.
I lost a huge part of my life to being abused and having to place 90 - 95% of childhood memories in Pandora's box. Mom and Dad saved my physical life by adopting me at 10 years old. I grew up with the greatest humanitarian I've ever met, my mom. She and dad had a huge heart for kids, they had taken in many foster kids to live with their two kids already.
I grew up being loved on from the Harke's which intern cultivated my humanity. Humanity to me is showing love, mercy, benevolence, and kindness, etc. I don't go around doing good things and keeping tabs on whom I've helped or what they can do for me. Try to repay the good deeds with other good deeds and all will be right. So what is my humanity and where has it evolved? People outpoured their love for me like I had never seen when Mom passed away. Like people genuinely reached out and I didn't know how to react at first. I thanked everyone, each of them personally on their condolence.
I suck at grieving so I turned to Facebook for asking my friends to pray for myself and my family. I believe that prayer helps. I went to church one Sunday and tried to get the pastor's attention and failed after the service. Well, I made it to a church service after where the music pastor, Chris, preached and at the end, he prayed for me. I didn't feel instantly like woa my life is gonna change. I felt like woa I'm gonna be okay and so will my heart. There's a hole in my heart where my attachment to my mom is. She wasn't much like my mom from before she was sick. She was a fighter holding on to her shell.
I've evolved beyond my bipolar manifestation and struggles of coming to terms that I'll never be normal and the woman that marries me will have to come to terms with that too. I pray that she will have God's love and mercy in her heart too.
It takes a lot to forgive the man that beat you to near death and gave you a mental illness and it's not because of anything I've done but through grace and Christ's example through my parents that I forgave him.
I've been asked and I've touched on it before. How can you forgive such and such a person or still talk to them? Well, I've been abused as an adult in a friendship as well as called a nigger by an ex-roommate and his cousin. So am I trying to be smarter than who I associate with? Yes but there's so much collateral damage.
I would like to say that my heart keeps beating and pumping for continued growth, whichever that may be. I never want my light to grow dim. I want to help children all over and have fun doing it.
And that there is the evolution of my humanity.
- One Love