Kat said, how can you love someone who abused you? I have been shown endless mercy and grace that I have a heart big enough to show someone who as well doesn't deserve it from me.
You may be a believer or a skeptic. You may be a cynic but I chose to believe. I've seen a man changed from Saul the Christian killer to Paul the follower of Christ. I've faltered my faith but it always goes back to one promise. That one promise is Jesus saves. God's grace suffices to change the wickedest of hearts and make them as soft as innocent as a child's.
"In the New Testament grace means God's love in action towards men who merited the opposite of love. Grace means God moving heaven and earth to save sinners who could not lift a finger to save themselves." ~ J. I. Packer
We'll cover God's grace down the road.
I would have died if it wasn't for the infallible hand of God. Why me? Why me, why was I saved from abortion and made the property of a wicked human? I'm still trying to accomplish what I want and I hear that still small voice saying it's not over. I don't know how to fulfill my purpose here. I have bipolar and I die daily. In essence, I don't want to live but I can't try to take myself out of this world.
Somewhere in 2008, I tried to commit suicide. I tried to OD. I know, not cool at all. I was so over medicated that the side effects from the bipolar meds and struggle to figure out how to battle this beautiful illness got to me. I want to be normal and the easiest way is death or not because living in this world there is no normal. I deal with death on a daily basis, the driving down the road wishing a tractor-trailer would jackknife into me but it's not over, I feel the love on a daily basis knowing there are people who love me. There's a whole side of my family that wouldn't exist if it weren't for love.
One of my coworkers said that she hates children. That statement made me sad. I think the reason because my bio father was saved from an evil life was because of a child. Children have faith, children believe in magic and things unseen and have faith that God is real. If I as an adult could have that faith that 3rd grade me had while knowing all I know what could I do in life. Somedays I live a life gripped in fear and hide all feelings and others, well I cry or just put my big boy pants on and fight another day. I want to help others know there is more than ending it, there is someone in this life who needs you. MJ likes to say, "What if it's not about you?" It's not about what I can get out of life and who I can use like people have done to me in the past.
November 5th is the birthday of the man, I call pops in texts. I love him not as a Stockholm syndrome survivor would but as a person that has genuine love in their heart. Does my biological dad deserve anything from me, no? He absolutely deserves zero of my attention. Why do I give him anything? Because I am blessed that God gave him a second chance. There is my testament that there is more than this side of life. We could go through a hundred years of building a cycle where it doesn't break or end, or we could go through life living and loving each other and teaching children that there is love in the world and there is a way to stop cycles of abuse and violence towards each other.
I didn't get this far on my own and I surely won't survive if I rely on doing it all on my own.
Ephesians 2:8-9 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- 9not by works so that no one can boast.
You may be a believer or a skeptic. You may be a cynic but I chose to believe. I've seen a man changed from Saul the Christian killer to Paul the follower of Christ. I've faltered my faith but it always goes back to one promise. That one promise is Jesus saves. God's grace suffices to change the wickedest of hearts and make them as soft as innocent as a child's.
"In the New Testament grace means God's love in action towards men who merited the opposite of love. Grace means God moving heaven and earth to save sinners who could not lift a finger to save themselves." ~ J. I. Packer
We'll cover God's grace down the road.
I would have died if it wasn't for the infallible hand of God. Why me? Why me, why was I saved from abortion and made the property of a wicked human? I'm still trying to accomplish what I want and I hear that still small voice saying it's not over. I don't know how to fulfill my purpose here. I have bipolar and I die daily. In essence, I don't want to live but I can't try to take myself out of this world.
Somewhere in 2008, I tried to commit suicide. I tried to OD. I know, not cool at all. I was so over medicated that the side effects from the bipolar meds and struggle to figure out how to battle this beautiful illness got to me. I want to be normal and the easiest way is death or not because living in this world there is no normal. I deal with death on a daily basis, the driving down the road wishing a tractor-trailer would jackknife into me but it's not over, I feel the love on a daily basis knowing there are people who love me. There's a whole side of my family that wouldn't exist if it weren't for love.
One of my coworkers said that she hates children. That statement made me sad. I think the reason because my bio father was saved from an evil life was because of a child. Children have faith, children believe in magic and things unseen and have faith that God is real. If I as an adult could have that faith that 3rd grade me had while knowing all I know what could I do in life. Somedays I live a life gripped in fear and hide all feelings and others, well I cry or just put my big boy pants on and fight another day. I want to help others know there is more than ending it, there is someone in this life who needs you. MJ likes to say, "What if it's not about you?" It's not about what I can get out of life and who I can use like people have done to me in the past.
November 5th is the birthday of the man, I call pops in texts. I love him not as a Stockholm syndrome survivor would but as a person that has genuine love in their heart. Does my biological dad deserve anything from me, no? He absolutely deserves zero of my attention. Why do I give him anything? Because I am blessed that God gave him a second chance. There is my testament that there is more than this side of life. We could go through a hundred years of building a cycle where it doesn't break or end, or we could go through life living and loving each other and teaching children that there is love in the world and there is a way to stop cycles of abuse and violence towards each other.
I didn't get this far on my own and I surely won't survive if I rely on doing it all on my own.
Ephesians 2:8-9 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- 9not by works so that no one can boast.