My life in Quotes

My current favorite show is Brooklyn 99 and I'm on season 5 but in season 4 they tackled racism in the police force. It really made me think back to middle school. I have very vivid thoughts of racism that I had encountered before. Sergeant Jeffords is one of my favorite characters on the show. He's funny and caring. He always has his team's back in any situation that arises. The show isn't an accurate depiction of police life but it's very funny as well as a good distraction. Why this is so important to me has a few things I'll bring up that I'm very guarded to talk about with my friends. "Sergeant Jeffords: I wanted to help people like that cop helped me. But right now, I don't feel like a superhero. I feel the opposite. When I got stopped the other day, I wasn't a cop. I wasn't a guy who lived in a neighborhood looking for his daughter's toy. I was a black man, a dangerous black man. That's all he could see: a threat. And I c...

I've been "in love" about 3 times in my life. I've loved several women in my adult dating life. This is specifically about the close encounter of an engagement kind. "We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love." ~Mother Teresa With the advent of this massive romance holiday called, Valentine's Day, I would like to discuss my ultimate path to love. It's happened only once where I had boughten the ring, though. I had met Taylor in March of 2011, I believe. It was love at first sight. We had met at the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight at some guys house. I was on my way out when we crossed paths. I stopped my friends upstairs and said, guys, I have something I need to do. I ran back downstairs and introduced myself to her. I asked for her number and my heart was racing ...

I'm constantly reminded of tretury, pain and death on Facebook memories. Even moments that were good sting and the moments that were bad pierce deep.  The pictures remind me of the betrayal. Being thrown under the bus... Being used and mentally abused... I'm going to be hopeful this year to challenge the hurt I feel. Is it continuing? What can I do to control that pain? I know giving it to God, hugs, tough love and hugs help. Yes, I said hugs twice. I want to heal so badly and I let go of some seriously toxic people and some good people because they were collateral triggers. I feel I can finally heal after losing friends and losing my mom.  I may not pray daily but I'm trying.  This is a challenge to my friends that are hurting from similar situations, give it to God or a higher power. Find happiness in something that's a distraction, try a new hobby or get back to a hobby you love.  Don't let uncomfortable people silence your pain.  Take care of yourself, find ...

I wrote a post that was inappropriate for Linkedin, I listened to a few friends who told me to take it down but I left it here on blogger because it's something that I wrote. For the good, bad or uncharacteristic of myself, I kept it. I wrote asking for advice, help but it was very sporadic and all over the place in thought. I've been dealing with a lot. Trying to figure out memories and why I have so few of them and my short term memory loss. I also am dealing with work stress. I hate my industry, I work really hard to have so little because I want to have a job but I'm just working paycheck to paycheck to pay bills. I just recently in December buried the ashes of my Mom. It was rough but the positive thing is I was on Latuda and it's been wonderful, my thoughts were clear and I was genuinely able to appreciate my friends that came out to support me. I have great news from that entry that I wrote, I'm back in school. I prayed and did a lot of work. I talked to ...

I'm going to attempt to explain anxiety: pretend you like flowers, you like roses and daisies. They both are beautiful and you plant them in your garden. You have a dog and you love him very much. You spent 10 hours planting the flowers. You let your dog out to potty and then he sniffs the flowers. Pees on a shepherd's hook and comes inside. All you could think about was the damn flowers getting peed on as he sniffed them. Then you sigh in relief as he pees on the shepherd's hook. Fast forward to lying in bed. An hour of sleep passes and you wake up in a cold sweat from dreaming your dog, that you love, dug up the flowers. Somewhere between sniffing, worrying about the flowers getting peed on and the ultimate worst thing that could happen to expensive flowers. You wake up thinking about your damn flowers and run downstairs to see if they're okay. Nothing happened to the flowers but sometimes one thought about how something could happen spirals out of control. It's n...