I wrote a post that was inappropriate for Linkedin, I listened to a few friends who told me to take it down but I left it here on blogger because it's something that I wrote. For the good, bad or uncharacteristic of myself, I kept it.
I wrote asking for advice, help but it was very sporadic and all over the place in thought. I've been dealing with a lot. Trying to figure out memories and why I have so few of them and my short term memory loss. I also am dealing with work stress. I hate my industry, I work really hard to have so little because I want to have a job but I'm just working paycheck to paycheck to pay bills. I just recently in December buried the ashes of my Mom. It was rough but the positive thing is I was on Latuda and it's been wonderful, my thoughts were clear and I was genuinely able to appreciate my friends that came out to support me.
I have great news from that entry that I wrote, I'm back in school. I prayed and did a lot of work. I talked to a lot of people at CPCC. I got in the two classes that I need to graduate but the downside is that I started a week late. I feel blessed to have this opportunity that I get to finish community college and move on to study for special education teaching. That's my goal. My mother was a teacher and an administrator of a preschool. Jasper and my Mom are my inspirations for doing this as my heart has always been there. The NCWorkfirst dept helped me with a finish line grant. I'm so happy that I get this chance. The downside to starting school a week late was asking to be admitted to the class that I needed. I got in it and busted my ass for two weeks now just to not be able to submit my project. I feel so bad and to top that I feel uncomfortable at home. I feel safe but uncomfortable. I want my own place and the idea of having two other people in the apartment messes with me. Anyways, I just want to have my own place.
I love that there are many people who care about me and want me to succeed. It's a lot of weight to have. I can't rely on my parents to rescue me anymore. It's this chance or none. I do miss my mom and wish I could call her every day and be like "Mom, I am gonna be a special education teacher, to help the kids". I know she's proud but to be able to hear it and laugh with her when I'm down would be nice.
Everyone has moments where they can't think rationally and that was one, people judge the social media of others harshly sometimes.
I wrote asking for advice, help but it was very sporadic and all over the place in thought. I've been dealing with a lot. Trying to figure out memories and why I have so few of them and my short term memory loss. I also am dealing with work stress. I hate my industry, I work really hard to have so little because I want to have a job but I'm just working paycheck to paycheck to pay bills. I just recently in December buried the ashes of my Mom. It was rough but the positive thing is I was on Latuda and it's been wonderful, my thoughts were clear and I was genuinely able to appreciate my friends that came out to support me.
I have great news from that entry that I wrote, I'm back in school. I prayed and did a lot of work. I talked to a lot of people at CPCC. I got in the two classes that I need to graduate but the downside is that I started a week late. I feel blessed to have this opportunity that I get to finish community college and move on to study for special education teaching. That's my goal. My mother was a teacher and an administrator of a preschool. Jasper and my Mom are my inspirations for doing this as my heart has always been there. The NCWorkfirst dept helped me with a finish line grant. I'm so happy that I get this chance. The downside to starting school a week late was asking to be admitted to the class that I needed. I got in it and busted my ass for two weeks now just to not be able to submit my project. I feel so bad and to top that I feel uncomfortable at home. I feel safe but uncomfortable. I want my own place and the idea of having two other people in the apartment messes with me. Anyways, I just want to have my own place.
I love that there are many people who care about me and want me to succeed. It's a lot of weight to have. I can't rely on my parents to rescue me anymore. It's this chance or none. I do miss my mom and wish I could call her every day and be like "Mom, I am gonna be a special education teacher, to help the kids". I know she's proud but to be able to hear it and laugh with her when I'm down would be nice.
Everyone has moments where they can't think rationally and that was one, people judge the social media of others harshly sometimes.