I voiced my opinion today. It wasn't eloquent but it was a start. I was sitting in the car with one of my very compassionate friends, when this happened.
So this has been a very painful week for Charlotte. I've been having a lot of thoughts, feeling, images and people bombarding me with their feelings and opinions.
I care, I really do, I sat at home trying to sort this out with my roommates asking me am I alright. I am not alright. I walked during the daylight hours to "my home away from home" Rooftop and it's only to survey the damage in the epicenter and the other parts too that had busted in windows that became boarded up. What good does it do to vandalize, steal and harm other's property or their lively hood. So do #BLM, #ALM, #ServiceIndustryLivesMatter and #CopsLivesMatter yes they do.
It's super frustrating. I feel like my head might explode.
Here's why: I'm mixed, I experienced racism at a very young age when I moved to the south. Racism is hurtful and getting profiled is hurtful.
Someone said don't be blind to it, I'm not and it's not that I don't want to process this or can't. I just wanted to see how this dance would unfold. Everyone of you out there that might read this have questions and some speak faster than others. I'm not your judge, jury or executioner of removing you from friends' lists. It's frustrating it really is.
My lively hood is in the hands of people who don't live here, they probably would never come here other than to be advantageous to take away our opportunities to make money. On the other hand there are good people out there who want to see change, they want to see social reform and justice system reform. They want us to all love each other as brothers and sisters should under one nation that sees no skin color.
I have a manager that says constantly, "See the bigger picture". So if there's a problem with #BlackLivesMatter movement and the problem with people changing it to #AllLivesMatter is that all lives matter so if all lives matter than why can't you accept that black lives matter and not change it. Then I saw a black man in front of the police dressed in swat/ riot gear, with a sign saying "All Lives Matter, We are 1".
I got it: I got it then, I got it when the public defender went to battle against the would be assailants who wanted to strip away everything peaceful protesters would do and say, I got it when my friends went out made Facebook videos and took pictures of the horrors and beauty in the darkness of this incident. Then today daylight protests remained peaceful and chanted to drums that floated to the heavens.
Here it is why black lives matter to me, why because I'm not them. I'm just me. You know why, I was never accepted but I am them because for my whole life I was told to pick and I wrote on every aptitude test and every government form "why?"
I wasn't sprayed with hoses or had dogs chase me down and attack me. I never have had KKK members come to my door and hang a family member. I never have had to drink from a different fountain or use a separate restroom. I never was told to sit at the back of the bus and I certainly never had to give my life for the greater good. Why? Good White and Good Black People went to war against a government that was wrong, for myself, our generation to not have to face that. Old white guys have done some horrible things to this country's citizens for a very long time that have been twisted into the government. Hate breeds hate and when we spread the message of love it drives hate back into the shadows. So love isn't going to change the government but unity will.
We just need to see "the bigger picture", We need to wake each other up! We need to sow seeds of love and respect into our next generations. We need to take back Charlotte!