I'm weird, if you've known me for a month or 20 years... it shouldn't be a surprise. I get insecure at awful times and sometimes for no reason.
I used to want to not be the nicest guy in the room. I have made New Year's resolutions to become something like an asshole. It happened not over night but the span of six years in the service industry. Being someone who I shouldn't be is taxing... I feel like I shouldn't be the nicest guy in the room but I sure as hell shouldn't be an asshole either. And think about this on a personal level who would you all rather I be. I've seen it all the way around what I'm like. I've hurt people, given more than I have to some, loved some, gone to battle for some and even disowned a few friends.
I'm not perfect nor would I want to be. I'm always going to be me, ever evolving and ever growing.