Skip to main content

What I won't give up on!

"I don't like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them."


Carroll Bryant

February 5th - 4 months have gone by in a blink of an eye where I have done so much harm and learned so much about myself and this amazing, beautiful and tortured soul that I love.

I'm not saying I'm sticking by anyone to just stick by them. I feel I have one of the biggest hearts of this generation and I love and hurt easily but this is a different situation. While she suffers I am not able to be her Joshua Rock while she's in emotional pain and stress and I feel many things but not everything overrides my own anxiety.

I've been apart of keeping hope live for myself with many friendships and this is the first Love that I've struggled with. She's my ideal Love, no matter the fight my head and heart have I want to keep hope alive and stand by her.

I've only given up on one friend, I loved as much as a brother. He betrayed me and used me to the deepest core and left me in the middle of the night, leaving a mess and an apology note. The woman i thought I loved was using me and decided that she no longer wanted this band aid that she needed to remove. This woman said he was a partied to reasons for her doubting I'd amount to much because he was a running coward who couldn't stand for anything.

I obsess about not losing those closest to me to the point I will apologize when I'm not even 100% in the wrong.

January 2017 came in with a bang and full of collapsing relationships. Friends were fighting with me while I was trying to hold on to a frail relationship and my family had many questions that made me have questions that I believed I had answers to.

Now I stand where I stand, with no one. No matter how I stand with anyone, will anyone vow to stand with me.

So this is what I have, hope. I have hope for true love to conquer all evil one day and friendships of true friends to last for a life time. -One Love

Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Mentally Okay Enough to Love Life

"Even when I'm sick and depressed, I love life." ~Arthur Rubinstein Great quote.   Why? Because it touches my very essence. I may not seem to love life at points but I'll never take my own life or intentionally take another life. Well there was this one time when there was fog on my back road near my house, I hit a raccoon. In his defense he might have had rabies. It can't be confirmed or denied... I didn't file a police report at the time. Okay well this speaks to me about mental illness which in our darkest hour of being sick and depressed, those who suffer from chronic depression, sometimes dream of death. Well this speaks volumes, love life. We all don't get to come back from the dead, we stare death in the face many times but once you're gone you are gone. Love life, love your life... Sometimes I feel like my life is the pits, as if I have reached the lowest low, feeling as if no one loves me, when in reality 1000's of peop...
Read more

Systematic of a Love for Life!

I came across this post looking at quotes about love... "I am not systematic at all when it comes to religion. I just love life. And I'm not judgmental. And I'm a vegetarian." ~ Erykah Badu I find this is a true statement for her but for a logical person it doesn't make sense, it's all in the wording... 1. Does being non judgmental have anything to do with being a vegetarian?? I find that there are many vegetarians whom judge the ones who eat meat everyday... but I was also on a dating site browsing and I came across a young lady who said that she doesn't eat meat but it's okay if the guy she dates does. I feel that this would be a hard truth to handle, I mean is it wrong on April Fools Day to spray her pillow with a bacon scented perfume? I feel meat is one of those deal breakers... 2. It's written in the Bible that Daniel while in Babylon didn't eat meat with the other Jews who were in captivity there. So there is nothing wrong wit...
Read more

Jasper's memory in my mind!

I would like to think I have many friends that I care about and care about me. Let me tell you about my little brother. Jasper Aaron Harke, was born in Syracuse, NY on August 24th, 1994. Well, Jasper meant a lot to me, I pleaded with my mom to take this baby that was disabled. My mom said, "Let me pray about taking him because I'm not Sarah... If you don't know Biblical history, Sarah is Abraham's Wife... She was very old when she had her son. My mom raised lots of foster children and her 2 own and 2 own adopted. My mom is old... It's true pushing her way through the 70's... His bio mom was on drugs and she was a cocaine addict and probably on some other things. She gave birth to a normal baby but then took him home and blew coke in his face when he wouldn't stop crying. He ended up having a couple of cardiac arrests, the little man immediately ended up in foster care. It was quite miraculous he lived. If you are planning to be a parent someday and are do...
Read more