My life in Quotes

  In 2008, I attempted suicide. It was the biggest failure of my life. I failed to end the pain and chaos inside my brain. I took a lot of pills that night and then I woke up. I woke up and felt like I was never going to get my brain straight. I felt so lost after Jasper died. It was my first experience with death that I lost it finally a year later. I had written suicide letters to my mom and dad, Rodney, and a bunch of other people. I found them a few years ago and I shredded them. I have bipolar 1, it's a genetic disorder that unchecked, I'm a living nightmare that is manifested from what's inside my brain. When my parents moved to Florida in 2013, my life took a spiral trying to make it on my own. I started drinking harder when I partied, I only drank alcohol and that got me misdiagnosed as bipolar/schizoaffective which is a diagnose of symptoms of schizophrenia. I was told many times by Dr. Ross that I have to stop drinking alcohol. I lost my meds in 2015 for a week or...

  Case Narrative The Fight On Thursday afternoon, Sara Martin, a first-year teacher at Intermediate School 91, heard yelling in the corridor outside her room. There had already been two fights earlier that day among the seventh and eighth graders on the fourth floor and Sara felt the tension in the air. Sara knew that 702, one of her most difficult classes, was in their reading class down the hall with her friend Kristen, another first-year teacher. Sara left her science class to investigate the commotion. Most of her students followed her out. At the end of the hall, two young female students from 702 were yelling; a fight was escalating. Peering over the crowd, Sara could see Keisha, a short African American girl, dressed like a tomboy, and Jackie, also African American, sporting a trendy pantsuit, platform heels, and long braids. Kristen was attempting to get between the girls as they grabbed at each other's hair and faces. Sara made her way through the crowd and tried to hold K...

  Joshua Harke       EDUC 2100 – 081              Chapter 1 Reflections      September 19, 2020   Reflection Questions #1 What areas ranked high for you on the survey? Explain why you think you scored this way. 1.      I loved being a teacher aid in high school with the little kids and occasionally the middle school kids. I scored it a 4, it impacted me to want to entertain being a teacher. 2.      At least one of my family members is a teacher, my mother was an administrator in a couple of pre k – daycare schools and was a teacher. My cousin, Mark is a teacher in NY. 3.      Doing the same thing in the same way repeatedly doesn’t appeal to me, I scored 4 on this because I love stability of going to work but doing the same thing every day in the job is monotonous. Being a special education teacher would...

  Joshua Harke     Educ 2100 – 081              How I See Myself Assignment     11.07.2020 Draft 1   What are some things that you will include in the 3 sections of your assignment? Take into consideration the assignments and other experiences that we have had so far in this class. You may bullet or list your thoughts for each section. Be sure to list the assignment or experience from this class that has triggered your new thinking.   I.       As Learner-what did you learn about yourself and what you need to be a successful lifelong learner and student. I have learned over the years that I am not a good student when I am beyond stressed out. I need to be focused on the goal as I have just exercised by leaving GoHealth. I took a seasonal job with Target that I thought would be fewer hours out the gate but they didn’t listen to one thing about needi...

IEP Interview with Miss T 12/4/2020 Aaron had a pretty good consistency. It was overwhelming in the beginning. He was interested in science and if it wasn’t relevant, he didn’t want to do it. Aaron’s IEP was as open as possible. The team communicated very well together. Some of his teachers had some unreasonable expectations. IEP meetings were ridiculous because they are meetings with people who haven’t met her child. Overall IEP’s were a breeze when dealt with therapists, they were things he could achieve. Aaron’s team was a really good team, they pushed him with challenges and they were kind. They had an EOG, where he was supposed to read the question and answer the question. There was no flexibility. She said that the instructor wouldn’t be flexible because of the rules. Tina after that had EOG’s removed from having to take the EOG. The test wasn’t designed for special needs children. He couldn’t read and it didn’t make sense to take them.   IEP’s with Miss A ...

  Into the Mirror There was a mirror sitting in the old dusty attic. It could tell stories but save that for tales of Snow White. There was a sheet protecting it from receiving any more memories. It was sturdy and reached towards the ceiling. Full of emotions that can be felt today. The sheet moved; I heard a slight clinking with a sway of a rosery. The perfect beginning to every day started at the pointed corner. Mirrors trap everything even if you’re not using them, It takes in all of life that passes it. It recalls prayers at the foot of the bed, You were raised to clutch that symbol. It stopped meaning something. The bombs dropped. That rosery was left on that corner. You didn’t need that symbol. Somehow, I get that. The world never knows us alive when we’re not famous, The world will never remember us either after we’re gone. As that doesn’t matter, just the souls that join in heaven. Long after you’re gone and my children ask about thei...

When I was very young, after I came back to the Harkes, I would hit and pinch my Mom. I can imagine it being rough on her having a little boy that doesn't understand his pain and how to even express it properly. Dad said that she prayed ceaselessly for me to have peace inside. I have had a whole life of internal strife and sleepless nights of emotional pain. Mom was there for me through a lot of it.  It's weird having Mom gone. It's when they moved to Florida that our relationship flourished. I always found it odd and annoying at times when Mom left 3 min voicemails but I miss that now. I wish I had a recording of her voice telling me that she loves me. I have, I believe every card that Mom had sent to me from 2013 until she couldn't send out cards anymore. I have birthday cards, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, just because she was thinking about me, and handwritten letters. She really loved me and wanted me to know that I wasn't alone in this world. She rea...

I started praying to God that he'd take my Mom home to heaven. She kept saying that she wanted to go back home to Zephyrhills with Dad but I knew from her long battle that she needed to go home to heaven. She was a humble prayer warrior and a mighty advocate for justice. She's my inspiration for caring about people even though it gets me in trouble. She was a great entertainer that liked to host gatherings at home with family and friends. She was a writer and artist. She was a kind and compassionate teacher of many children over the years. She took in many foster kids and adopted two special ones. There's a void in my life without her and I miss her. She was in so much pain and I'm glad she's in heaven. When she passed away after Christmas it was horrible for me. I cried myself to sleep and woke up in the middle of the night to feel her gone and I cried myself to sleep again. I didn't think I was going to get to go to her funeral because of a lack of money. Some...