I started praying to God that he'd take my Mom home to heaven. She kept saying that she wanted to go back home to Zephyrhills with Dad but I knew from her long battle that she needed to go home to heaven.
She was a humble prayer warrior and a mighty advocate for justice. She's my inspiration for caring about people even though it gets me in trouble. She was a great entertainer that liked to host gatherings at home with family and friends. She was a writer and artist. She was a kind and compassionate teacher of many children over the years. She took in many foster kids and adopted two special ones. There's a void in my life without her and I miss her.
She was in so much pain and I'm glad she's in heaven. When she passed away after Christmas it was horrible for me. I cried myself to sleep and woke up in the middle of the night to feel her gone and I cried myself to sleep again. I didn't think I was going to get to go to her funeral because of a lack of money. Some really awesome friends helped me out and wouldn't let me pay them back. I'm really grateful that I got to see my family, give a eulogy, and make a tribute video. Then a year later I had to bury Mom here in Charlotte and it was like a knife cut an unhealed wound open again. I am glad that I had new meds and a different outlook on this. I asked friends of the family and some of my new family here if they would come. I'm grateful they came to honor her: and my mentor and friend gave a beautiful prayer.
Christmas was a special time for mom and our family, because when I was taken away from them and sent back to my bio dad at 5 and they kept Christmas up till they got me back. When the kids were all grown i.e. me being the last... She decorated the tree as she saw fit, frilly and oh so girly as she deserved with clear lights and multi-colored lights outdoors. We had those lawn ornaments from wherever and I'd have to put them out because they needed stakes. I gave her so much crap about them because lawn ornaments, no matter how much you spent on them seem to just fall apart. Dad would always cringe when they'd show up in the back seat of Mom's Sebring.
When she passed away it was the hardest Christmas ever that I've ever had not getting to spend it with them since they moved to Florida in 2013. I really shouldn't have gone out to a little party for NYE because I was so gone and I was very detached from the present. I am so grateful that I had so much outpouring of love from many of you that it helped.
She was an amazing person outside of being a mom. She really showed me how to keep an identity and be a parent at the same time. Tuesday morning, I saw a cardinal and I wanted to chase it, it was just sitting across from the stairs on my floor but I just carefully observed it as it looked at me and I thought, thank you for being my Mom.