My life in Quotes

There is a time in our lives that we walk through the desert alone. Here is my story about how I crossed the line in the sand.  "I'm sure that I am enjoying my sobriety. And respect it. If you've been through what I've been through, then you really do treasure it." - Peter Frampton I'll revisit this quote and you'll see how I crossed the line into sobriety in the end.  All my teenage life up till college, I was told to not drink. Not because it was evil. Because my parents knew my chemical make up was different and I was going through changes. At 19 my bipolar 1 manifested at UNCC. It was insane and it was like I was far away from my family but I wasn't. I saw them on most weekends and they brought me home or took me out to eat. I don't remember my first college drink. I can rewind and tell you, yes I drank in high school but it was only in my senior year. Back to college... My mom told me about alcoholism and how it affects families. She ...

The evolution of humanity is not the evolution of the species of man but the inside of man that is important in 2019. We will examine the definition of humanity no. 2:  humaneness; benevolence. I wanted to write about humanity no. 2 from the dictionary because I have experienced an outpouring of love since Feb 2018 when my Mom went into the hospital, she passed away and the love people share with me after. "One should never direct people towards happiness because happiness too is an idol of the market-place. One should direct them towards mutual affection. A beast gnawing at its prey can be happy too, but only human beings can feel affection for each other, and this is the highest achievement they can aspire to." ~  ALEKSANDR SOLZHENITSYN Am I happy? I would like to say that I am unsure as of 12:30 am. Do I love myself? I would like to think I do. I look back at Facebook memories and see the outpouring of love from my community that has taken me in and put me in the fol...

There have been and will be days I find that I have been defeated but I believe there is a reason for everything. I've been praying for things and giving thanks to God. I don't want to go under because I believe God is enough. That's a hard truth to swallow. The truth, that if you believe in a higher power, that God is going to pull through for you. My mental illness doesn't define me. Does it make life difficult, yes but I'll push through like I have in the past. Some of this still is hard for me. I've been kicked so many times that I have given up and tried to end it. So if you want to give up just know that it's got nothing to do with being selfish but get help. Reach out to someone. There is a purpose for everything. Every philosophy on the earth says so but for me, God is enough. Why do I write this, because every day I struggle with living. I have an amazing girl that I want to be my girlfriend and my future wife. My family loves me and I have a j...

My Mother was my biggest inspiration for having a big heart. It is because of her, I love endlessly and forgive so easily. I was asked and have been asked how can you forgive certain people multiple times. Well, it's taught by Jesus in the Bible and well, my Mother was a great example of showing mercy and forgiveness.  I have learned so much from being an adopted child of the Harke's. My Mom, I've taken so much from my Mom, Myra, then my Dad. He tried to teach me fiscal responsibility and my mom knew it was important but my heart always wins. My mom's heart was amazing, as well as my father's. They brought in so many foster children and had two of their own.  Andy Flemming said, my mom, treated every kid that came into her home as her own. No, if and's or buts she loved kids. She must have felt that I was special enough to pour thousands of dollars of savings into adopting me. It took ten years of their life to secure the safety of one child.  The fruit...

So the biggest curveball of 2018 will not be going to corporate but of walking away from a  friendship. I see the biggest curveball being that because I have been friends with Brinkley since the party days of 2004 and now we walk away from each other. “Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.” ― Anthon St. Maarten In 2013, I moved in with my friend, I had never lived...

“You just stood up to your mother.... I should think now you could take on the world.” ― Elizabeth Strout , Abide with Me My Mother is one of the most loving, caring, sociable and stubborn women I know. We've been round in circles about nonsense and everything that is important for my future.  Feb 20th, 2018, I fly down to Tampa to see my parents. My father's birthday is this day and it's a very somber birthday. My mom is in a coma in Zephyrhills Regional. The doctors had to induce her to save her life. She had to have 8 surgeries or series of debridement. It was the saddest thing I had seen in my family since the passing of my little brother Jasper. She was all hooked up with tubes and wires, it was so sad. Now she's been through a lot in life and I can say as a son I've put her through a lot. I was the youngest for a very long time. I love my mom and I didn't show it 100% of the time. I'm pretty sure no one else reading this ...

This is my preface for this article: "They won't notice you unless you jump out of a moving train." So I've been dating since I was about 18. It's been an uphill awkward battle all the way. I wanted to date in high school and earlier but that didn't happen. I take it that I was socially awkward and not a popular kid. I played ice hockey, soccer and baseball ,and sometimes I was an all star and sometimes I was just a hot head. I digress, okay so my first girlfriend was in college, her name is Magda. She's got a kid now, not mine. She was a senior in high school and I was introduced to her through some friends. So I've had good dates and bad dates that both turned into nothing. I've had long distance relationships for reasons I'm not sure why but lessons were learned. Things I learned from dating, oh wow this should be fun. Magda said to me, "don't be so jealous, it's good to have guys check me out then realize that I'm wi...