I want to share a lesson I learned a couple of days ago that I've been thinking about very hard. Society as a whole doesn't believe in forgiveness that's why people are walking around hurt all of the time, including me, even though I believe in it.
I was speaking with my friend's kid about these boys in her neighborhood. The boys killed a turtle and that's why she didn't like the boys. I took her to Target after the encounter with the boys playing with her dogs. I said part of the problem with that interaction with them being interested in you is that they don't remember that you know about the turtle and that you reacted out of anger towards them being friendly. Then I said have you ever thought about forgiving them? She said I can't killing a turtle is not okay, I said, truth. I said but that's not okay to not forgive when they weren't even being hostile towards you. BTW, she shut me down after that and didn't want to hear anymore.
For me, this whole thing made me sad. The climate of the youth perpetuating what adults do at a young age is really bad. Do you all understand what we do is what they see and mimic? It may not you as a parent but your friends and your other family members. You're gonna talk crap about your family and friends don't even do it on your phone if your kid uses your phone or even in earshot; matter of fact don't do it at all. Your community is all you have, you can't rely on the gov to solve everything. It was very sad to see that someone so young has hate in their heart for someone else because of something that no one is ever gonna correct them on. Be the change you wish to be and your kids are an extension of you. Whatever you have going on in your life again, your kids see it. You might need to take a day off and have a heart-to-heart with your kids...
I've been asked and written about this topic; it keeps coming up. How can I forgive people that have hurt me so badly and left visual scars and emotional ones? By the grace of God, who is my higher power, my friend and savior. The man who abused me, the woman who gave me away, my friends/roommates/that hate me, people who have stolen from me not just monetarily but emotionally and abused me, best friends made whole and on and on. I can forgive but the pain is there. Why do I forgive? I don't want to be bitter and spiteful. I don't want to raise a family where I could be the monster.
I've said this a lot, we're a community or somewhat. Whatever you believe in your religious-spiritual lives and you're an aunt, uncle, brother, sister, or grandparent shape up... I'm not a parent but I want to be one. You can change the future, I promise... concerned future teacher/parent/husband.