My life in Quotes

B.O.B has a song titled Bombs Away featuring Morgan Freeman, whom is the narrator of this masterpiece. I usually use quotes to set the ground work for the piece. So this will do perfectly: "As the war between light and darkness continues Heroes and villains become harder to identify Kindred spirits separated at birth Fighting for their place in time to be solidified The clock ticks faster and faster While time runs a marathon in this Babylon But see, the end is only the beginning The beginning of the calm before the storm" So my Christmas Epiphany starts here with this war, which war? The war that has plagued the lives of families in the USA since big box stores dictated when Christmas would start. Now there are other parties - Amazon and Cyber week. The way I look at it with all these companies closing and stores eating the dirt, Amazon is the retail industry savior. If they win this war between them and all big box stores, Christmas might go back to being a f...

Sometimes I feel childish when it comes to relationships. I want a relationship with this person like that person has... Stop it, why do I even want to be in a relationship with that person like that to begin with. The definition of childish in this text's context is foolish, silly or immature; of, like, or appropriate to a child: "childish enthusiasm" synonyms: childlike · youthful · young · young-looking · girlish · boyish · baby silly and immature: "a childish outburst" synonyms: immature · babyish · infantile · juvenile · puerile · silly · inane · jejune · foolish · irresponsible Here's why... I have a lot of people I look up to that I had worked for that I wish I was more buddy, buddy with but I realize that they relied on me to make sure the job was finished not take a shot with at 2 am. So this goes for groups of peers too. I wanted to be accepted a certain way but I'm not that person I used to be. I still would like to have fun and...

I tried I really did, please tell Mae, the barn... when it burned down and all they found was a jar of Mae's world famous applesauce sitting on a stump, I burned down the barn. It was the others, All trying to get me into their reindeer games. I was trying to hide and contemplate. I found a half eaten jar of Mae's applesauce, a lighter and a spoon. I really wanted to get into that jar of applesauce. It's the kind with the chunks. Now you say where does Mrs. Clause get apples from all the way up in the North Pole? Well from all you prick parents who don't leave Santa his penance of cookies. Oh you'll owe him twice the amount if you want to keep little Johnny or little Susie off the naughty list. So I tried to get into the jar, some how I just tried to channel my inner Mcgiever, Well all in all I burnt down the barn. Hooves weren't meant for spoons or lighters because I tried to light the lid and it hit the ground. It was a Zippo lighter so It stayed lit till th...

Dangling Fifty thousand feet in the air. Ripped right out of my seat. The way it all happened was a flash. Something changed. You snapped and took control. Steered us into that sheer cliff. I don’t know what it was about today. Everything was normal. Breakfast was normal. The ride was normal. The take-off was normal. Engine check. And anxiety reared a few into the trip. I knew it was over. She flipped, I flipped. An engine blew. She saved us possibly in my anxiety. So we were plummeting. Sheer speeds. Falling and falling. She grabbed the controls. Steered us in to that cliff. I survived that day but you did not. Now my heart dangles like I did that day. This poem is about my worst fears translated into something that doesn't bother me. I don't fear flying. I fear drivers on the road, people I ride with and their vehicles. I had an anxiety attack while I was driving in Matthews a long time ago. It was h...

White Halls As I walked down the corridor I pulled out my crayon. Walked about fifteen feet. Then I turned left. Backed up and turned right. Why did I turn right. The hall here was white, bright white. I started writing in words I had never seen before. I wrote in dead languages. White walls were no longer white. Mathematic algorithms. Things long gone and forgotten. Architecture from eons across the galaxy. Was I walking towards the light before I died. They always say your life flashes before your eyes. This was not my life. This was the life of billions of like-minded ideas planted. Gone in a flash, time stood still. This was not reality just a dream I thought. Is my creation gone. Would there be a birth of new ideas from loss of billions snuffed out.                             ...

What was it? Was my life your life. Where were we in time. Nothing changed but you. I am who I am and you knew that. What was the worst thing I did. I think the worst thing I did was falling. Falling down an endless hole never wanting to climb out. Or was it learning to love again. Or was it being a job for you. What was it for you? Was it more than an excuse. You gave me many. What was it for you? I had love at first sight once. It was a lot of work to maintain, suffice to say and when one person isn't feeling it anymore, it's hard to let go. So I got into poetry and it was a great pain reliever. I could be creative and have fun or just cry a river of words.

Manners P’s and Q’s. We hear about do’s and don’ts. Where’s my five dollars a man screams out the bus window. The kid sending his father off to the mines,   Says look in your box. Don’t look past the future. We should name our children after gods, prophets and philosophers. Not cars, cereal or carnal pleasures. Flip flop for a second. Hold my hand. Grow old with me she says softly. Leave me alone she screams. It’s over we know. Ride free, flip the handle bars of life and pop a superman. We know some of us struggle.   Who said you get a fighting chance. Think about it   You could have been somewhere else. Today is the best time to be born. Mind your manners. You could have been snuffed out. Hold your hand out and shout. Don’t be too proud to give away those five dollars. You might need it down the road. This was just a fun poem about how life is fast and jumbled sometimes. As it being a mess, we s...

Lost Boys So am I lost. When I walk around aimlessly,   To you I appear lost. I’m not you. I would never have that desire. Being chained to a wall like a yellow canary. Chirping when there is a lack of air. You suffocate me. I’ve only been lost once. When that canary died I became lost. I almost didn’t make it out. You slowly choked the life force out of me. Till swam out of your grasp. It was like breathing air for the first time. I wander because I can, Not because I’m lost. See me for who I am. Trust me it could be worse. I know who I am. Do you know who I am. I’m an entity unto all my own. I'm not sure if this is about anyone in specific but I have a feeling it's about my ex bestfriend. If it is this correlates to when I was dumped and she said I'm afraid you'll amount to nothing because you hung around him. I am my own entity and I march to my own beat through life. It also could correlate to how ...

What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude. -Brené Brown I was told that my siblings don't want a relationship with me because I at some point said in a way that I'm the oldest and I deserve respect. When you are in your twenties you're dumb as bricks when it comes to common sense. Obviously being who I am and my DNA, I would be heated a little. I've grown up a lot since I was in my 20's. I moved to back to Syracuse to form a relationship with my biological family. It obviously didn't work because I'm the black sheep and it's okay even if it hurts my biological dad. I don't know if they all the abuse and who he was before he was their father. Now he's a 180% different man and they are lucky. I didn't get that opportunity that they were privileged with. God's power has the ability to change even the most wicked men. I'm thankful for God's grace because many instances I'd be dead. He poured out his grace and mer...

To CATS, I'd like to tell you a few things. I get up very early like many other people to ride this transit system. Today, not being the first day, on route 27 I was passed. I'm sure the bus was full but I wasn't even acknowledged and I was looking right at the bus. Luckily I was waiting for a while because the buses are so inconsistent.  Also the bus the goes outbound for the 27 has been moved to detour. For a few times last month I was passed and had to walk home. I was even passed at night time and had to walk home at 11 pm. As it were, I didn't have time on a Sunday to wait 45 minutes to an hour. Luckily that is my short trip from the Metropolitan to Briar creek, I can't imagine how much more frustrated people who live at the end feel. Oh and I even took the 15 once to get off near Laurel and but through Elizabeth but ended up getting lost because the 27 bus passed me. I was so irate that day.  I feel my route is the most inconsistent route, I get out there e...

Your biological parents may not be your real parents... It's who raised you. Because anyone can drop an egg and get someone knocked up! I struggle on a the real with this because, who I am is not who created me. She's probably a pretty awesome mother but she's not my mother. It hurts but he's a great father but not who raised me. I've learned a lot and I'm grateful for everything my parents have taught me and allowed me to become. We're taught by society to believe that blood is thicker than water and even people on paper still suck but I got lucky. Family is anyone who loves you and nurtures you through this life. So on Mother's Day I show my love and affection to my mom, not the woman I'm genetically linked to but Father's Day I pay homage to two great men in my life. Because no matter how long it takes someone to get to where they are supposed to be in life despite life's hiccups, you may have the potential to be a great parent. ...

Jonny "Vein" Noble September 14, 2012 at 11:06am My character's name is Jonny "Vein" Noble. I was born in proximity of Chernobyl but I wasn't mutated, because this isn't a comic book people... I became  sick, with radiation poisoning and was sent to St. Jude's Children's Hospital in the States. The ivies only made my veins produce an iridescent green glow in the night. The doctors didn't know how to save me. They put me on hospice but I started to grow stronger over time. My father was in the military and he retired from the Military to help raise me. He  instilled me with military values; so as I became stronger I joined ROTC at school. I was the kid who was a military brat but I wanted to be independent and the ability to develop my own identity from my over bearing father. Also I was the kid you thought wasn't all there but was constantly thinking, scheming but I had this thing were I constantly sought the approval of my ...

Lyx Nyx the Falling of a Rising Star September 22, 2011 at 3:37pm So it was game day, just another day for McKyner Our Lady of the Faith Assembly. After the season opener last week that was such an amazing success my team was riding high on euphoric dreams of season championship talks. Oh we were arrogant as we should be. That night the cannon shot, we sprinted through the banner, all of us. Cheerleaders leading us into battle, Oh want an amazing site, school spirit at it's best. My name was Zayne "Lyx" Nyx, the Rising Star the local papers called me, before the tragic accident that night, I was normal, well on the outside. All my childhood I struggled to hide my obsession with my cuts. Always picking the scabs I inflicted, intentionally or accidently... I had seen many shrinks, my parents deemed this abnormal behavior. Until I could hide it yet it always consumed me. So I was as the aforementioned the Rising Star of MOL of the Faith Assembly, and oh wa...

Things I think about: Turtles, they hide in their shells when frightened. Is it true? I'll have to look it up on the internet. If it's on the internet does it make it true, only if it's from a credible source? What makes that source credible? Hmmm... ... I wish I had chosen history as my degree instead of marketing then I could have pretended to teach those who in reality would be teaching me but should I give credit to Roger for that? If I were to get scared while teaching I could just put my head in my desk and have a web cam in my desk so the kids could see me and continue to teach... lol! If I were a bubble boy turned into a man in bubble would I have to have disability accommodations for stupidity? If I were a bubble man I would have a van with the front seats taken out and a curved ramp that would pull out so I could park and roll out of the van when I get to my destination. If I were a teacher in a bubble... -April 26th, 2016 I love school... wait f...

Sometimes I feel like a second rate friend... but I'm thankful for those who make me remember that I'm not... There was a time I had a car and a bestfriend named Rodney, oh and I had a girlfriend named Taylor. Okay that's a horrible intro to the paragraph. Once upon a time there was myself, my bestfriend and the love of my life my girlfriend Taylor. Everyday I get reminders of my life when I had my parents here in North Carolina, I had Rodney and was "in love" with Taylor. Taylor, we met at the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight night at a house party. Well I met her at the end where I was exiting. It was love at first sight. I walked past her and it was like electricity jumped from one of us and shocked us. It was like something I've never felt. I walked up stairs and was like this is so weird. I told Rodney and I had to do something then I ran back downstairs to her. I found her and said to her, I know this is weird but I'm Joshua and I'd l...

Aaron Hernandez died this morning from committing suicide. I struggled with this because I don't know much of the story, even after reading a couple articles. He was acquitted and still committed suicide. I'm thankful for life everyday no matter the circumstances or the outcome at the end of the day because I wake up a free man that lives to see another day. His death was "a shocking and sad end to a very tragic series of events that has negatively impacted a number of families," said Bristol County District Attorney Thomas Quinn, who prosecuted Hernandez in the Lloyd case. They said if they had seen signs they would have moved him to a mental observation wing. It's sad he took his life but it happens. Watch your Karmatic footprint people and do good to others don't cause unjustified pain that could end you up in a situation like this man. He has left a void in a case that would be solved faster, in his child's life and the NFL community. I'm no...

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” - unknown People give me shit about staying at Rooftop 210 or in BMG for as long as I did. I'm a very hopeful individual, I would like to believe that people will look out for you when you're the hardest worker in the industry. I could not succeed in a company that wouldn't allow me to be anything greater than a barback. From the 19th of March til today I have lived the struggle of transitioning into a normal life. I've had sleep anxiety for months during the time I was at Rooftop til even now, I wake up screaming and sweating. It's quite detrimental to one's psychological state of mind, the amount of emotional abuse I took and I felt less love from those I sought acceptance from. I was passed up for bartender and had another barback placed in a leadership role who talked down to me. Never again... Now onto where my heart is, it's in pain. I shouldn't have been in an affair but...

Illusionist He took a quarter from behind your ear. Made a box disappear. Made water from a cage of pigeons. I got everything I wanted and more. I got to see everything. What was most amazing was the melodic menagerie. The harmony of the symphony. Climactic elements swinging through the air.   Elements melding, things disappearing in midair. I think that I will never see anything as amazing as I did that night. And then from that box that disappeared. Appeared a smaller box. Then he asked her to hold out her hand. Placed the box in her hand, covered it. Pulled the handkerchief away and on her finger was a ring. A ring that shined like the stars. Her eyes shimmered like the light off the ring. I got down on one knee and asked her to share my soul. The rest was pure magic. Almost like a fairytale. Never ending and never beginning. I watch Penn and Teller's magic show on the CW. Well if I had a magician friend this is...

Find Me See me. Love me. Hate me. See me. Love me. Hate me. Hide from me. Scale the highest mountains. Swim every ocean. Roam every forest. Walk every street. I looked everywhere. Every house. Every store. And you found me. Where I was not looking. You found me. It is amazing at the speed this happened. With compassion you picked me up. You helped me to find myself again. This poem is about finding love and how you can look, look and look but not find the right one for you and the moment when you might stop looking and cross paths with someone they find you. You could find that special someone anywhere and you don't know till you walk the earth and maybe revisit places you've been before with just and reopened perspective. So what this poem to me is a reaction of friends telling me that I'm looking or was looking to hard for love.

No Words There are no sounds today. Stirring awake as I take breaths of pure oxygen. I’ve lost my will to speak. I think I’m going crazy.   I look at you while falling from grace. Our hands slip as we fall away from each other. I still would rather not make a peep. No sounds, no fears. We are slipping away down a dismal hole. Tiny spikes will impale us. I think I should have warned you. But I let us fall and we were barely grazed. Landing on the hard cold ground. Feeling free of life’s iron grip, you lean over my body. You hold me and begin to open your mouth. I motion with my last bit of energy. I know, I know and cover your lips with my finger. Lying in your arms, I pass away. Covered in your tears, you close my eyes. I am free. I like this poem that I wrote because it's strong. Its message is that sometimes I want to be the hero even until death. I saved that other person's life in this poem. I was struggling f...

"I absolutely love how dumbed down society has become complaining about fairytales and comic book characters... The Brothers Grim wrote gruesome stories to scare children into doing good not feel all warm and fuzzy, that's the parents damn job... When I get a puppy I don't read him stories about Clifford the Big Red Dog to inspire him to grow up to be the size of a two story house. No I teach that stupid lil pisser that it's wrong to pee in the house then I give it chocolate after, so it knows it did a good job peeing on the pee pad on the patio... I'm just saying, I have some really great friends who are great parents, I hope... and I know some of you really do an amazing job. I'm just going to go out on a limb, because I don't work for them but... Disney messed this up for everyone..." I wrote this on Facebook... Because a friend's notification came to me after I got a little bit sassy from watching a comedy special... And boom! In the adv...

Ice All along the winding road All along the cold hard ground Lies the man who was under assault. Eyes white as the snow, feeling No fear inside, feeling no more emotions. Loveless is the ice against his face. Loveless is the ice against his lifeless Body covered yet in ice. His icy heart beats and beats for life. Cast off the bonds of ice I say, cast off The chains of ice. He plants the hybrid ice flowers, flowers To honor his death and icy rebirth. With every season that the flowers Grow so does the firmness of the heart This poem was not my favorite of poems to be submitted to a poetry contest. I think it means to me that anything can be revived, rebuilt. Life especially in nature goes through cycles. In the long run the human soul it can go through cycles just as nature. There are periods of time when we hurt and rejoice. We ,with growth and maturity, are always looking for change.

"I want three things in life; Love, Liberty and Death. Love 'cause I have this belief that she is out there for me, Liberty because no matter if we hate this government I am still free and Death 'cause my legacy will one day be great and I wont need this world." When I was 22 years old, I would joke about retiring at 25 years of age while working as a key holder in an ice cream store. I also believed in love but didn't know what it really was and I often said I wanted to die before I was old and wrinkly. I've also have O.D. once and that was my wake up call sometime around '09 to '11, it's hazy the time line. I've pretty much blocked it out just that it happened is all that matters and that it wont ever again. So I've fallen in love with this amazing woman who is so much like me yet so different but in good ways. I don't ever want the connection we share with anyone ever again, it seriously scares me sometimes. For example she ...

What is the difference between being religious, spiritual and spirit filled? Webster's dictionary says that being religious  is "relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity". Webster's dictionary says that being spiritual is "of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit or  concerned with religious values". According to the Collins English dictionary being spirit filled or the charismatic movement is this, " Christianity  any of various groups, within existing denominations, that emphasize communal prayer and the charismatic gifts of speaking in tongues, healing, etc". Here's my take on this, Jay Z said on  Watch the Throne, "You ain't gotta go to church to get to know yo' God" raps on the song Threat that he's killing people but it's a valid statement. I loved church, I guess but when life experiences change us as an young adult as in my bipolar manifestin...

Mom says that I used to love Valentine's day, we used to make a big deal about it with candy, stuffed animals and special dinners. I guess growing up sucks... I'm sure that's why I'm a romantic but the day feels dead to me even though it should be a symbolic day about reflecting on people who care about you and whom you care about. I don't really want a Valentine but I'll still share the love to all my friends. I give thanks for my family, friends and the love of my life. Valentine's Day is one of the biggest commercial events. With that being said we should strive to live beyond the life of the holiday. We should show love to those in our lives continuously with the need to receive gifts or steak the day after. We should be sending love notes, cards and writing sweet little nothings most of the time. If you're not mushy, that's fine, send a card with something thoughtful you're thinking at the moment. Not everything has to be mushy either, kin...

"Each friendship offers something totally unique — and irreplaceable. Each friendship ultimately makes us who we are." - unknown Irreplaceable - "adjective incapable of being replaced; unique: an irreplaceable vase." I have few things in life that I'd consider friends, music... okay maybe just music. Why just music, well I don't have a doggy companion to love on. Music is the number one tangible thug that never let's me down. When I'm angry or sad it can lift my to the heavens or bring me all this emotional energy that I need to survive. Now on to people, my unique friendships, some have been with some amazing people. My childhood neighborhood friends well those that have lasted the test of ptsd and forgetting some of you. My roommate and I have been friends for 13 years, he's irreplaceable in that he is what I've come to need in life a strong, level headed and extremely compassionate friend. How he teaches me to be appreciative of wha...

"I don't like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them." Carroll Bryant February 5th - 4 months have gone by in a blink of an eye where I have done so much harm and learned so much about myself and this amazing, beautiful and tortured soul that I love. I'm not saying I'm sticking by anyone to just stick by them. I feel I have one of the biggest hearts of this generation and I love and hurt easily but this is a different situation. While she suffers I am not able to be her Joshua Rock while she's in emotional pain and stress and I feel many things but not everything overrides my own anxiety. I've been apart of keeping hope live for myself with many friendships and this is the first Love that I've struggled with. She's my ideal Love, no matter the fight my head and heart have I want to keep hope alive and stand by her. I've only given up on one friend, I loved as much as a brother. He betrayed me and used me to t...

"Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day." - George Foreman I've seen what love at first sight is and love at first click. I'm going to say that I will never pick love at first sight. Love is a hard thing to grasp and a hard place to be. It takes work and time to nurture. I've had infatuation and lust relationships too. I've been used for emotional and a rebound needs. I have a big heart and I forgive easily. I was chasing this amazing woman who didn't know how to love again nor did she want to. We clicked that night and into the morning having deep conversations. I knew I wanted to be with her regardless of her situation which probably wasn't the best idea ever but there were a few times she would push me a way till she let me inside her walls. It takes a big heart to forgive a lot of pain. I wasn't ready to give up hope on her. Now we are at crossroads an...